Some More Firsts

Posted on August 8, 2011 by amanda

I didn’t realize it had been so long since I last posted an entry. My intention has been to remain more or less up-to-date mostly because I don’t want to forget anything about this first year, and I know I will if I don’t write it down. And yet, when is there time? Oh, to be sure, I could certainly find a bit of time here and there to post something, but when Claire goes down for a nap or Neal is home and spending time with her, I’m usually busy with other things, such as cleaning, laundry, making supper, and even curling up on the couch and reading for a few minutes.

Alas, all I can do is try.

So what has been going on? Claire has become more and more alert and attentive to her surroundings, which makes our time together even more fun. She reaches out for things and can grasp most of her toys with ease. Everything, of course, goes into her mouth which means I have to remember to clean them up every once in awhile.

Last weekend Claire had her first road trip when we went to Saint John, New Brunswick to introduce her to more of Neal’s family. The drive up to Saint John was awesome because Claire fell asleep half-an-hour into the drive and slept soundly until we stopped to use the washrooms at the Irving Big Stop in Salisbury. We changed and fed her and then got back on the road, at which point she fell asleep again until we got off the highway near my in-laws’.

It was a busy few days, and I know that Claire was exhausted by the end of it. She’s not accustomed to a lot of visiting, but I think she did rather well considering. She has started to freak out a little if someone other than myself or Neal hold her soon after going into a place, but generally she calms down after a little while and will allow someone else to hold her. Suffice it to say, she was very easy to get to sleep at night!

The best part of that weekend, however, was when we gave her a bath at my in-laws’ place. She is always so happy when she’s having a bath; if I wasn’t worried about her skin drying out, I would probably give her a bath every night before bed because she enjoys it so much. She kicks her legs and runs her toes along the back part of her tub because it makes a squeaking sound and she gives us a lot of smiles. Because of her awesome mood, Neal and I brought his parents in to witness Claire having her bath, but we were all treated to a surprise: all of a sudden, Claire started to giggle, and giggle, and giggle some more! It was the most amazing sound I have ever heard, and I just kept laughing with her to keep her going. For days, I thought about that giggle and it never stopped warming my heart.

When we brought her to Brian and Jaime’s for a visit, we were treated to some more giggles when Jaime picked her up and made her “fly” towards their son. There was drool flying, but no one cared because she just kept giggling and giggling. My own stomach ached by the end of it from laughing so hard!

Unfortunately, what will make her laugh one day will only elicit a smile the next. And sometimes not even a smile. I guess we have to keep our creative hats on to continue finding things that will make her laugh!

Four generations - Neal, his mom Cathy, his grandmother Vivian and Claire

Meeting her Great-Nan Guthrie

Meeting her Great-Gramp McCarthy

Hanging out with Daddy at Brian and Roberta's camp

Nan and Gramp brought Claire down to the see the water (Saint John River)

It was really a great trip and I was so happy that Claire was able to meet more of her family!

***

When we got home, Neal and I found and bought a high chair for Claire. It’s one that straps onto one of your chairs, and has an adjustable seat determined by how old your baby is and how good her head control is. Claire really seems to enjoy sitting at the table with us!

We also picked up some Connect-a-Mats, which work much better for playing on the floor than a blanket: whenever she spits up or drools a lot (both of which are pretty common occurrences!), I have to throw the blanket in the laundry – and I have quite enough laundry these days, thankyouverymuch! With the connect-a-mats, I just have to do a quick wipe and it’s clean again!

And here’s a purely random picture, but I include it because it’s now my absolute favourite picture of Claire (and is now printed and framed in my living room!):

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Unfair

Posted on July 19, 2011 by amanda

While cleaning Claire’s gums with a washcloth at the end of last week, I noticed some white… things on her gums that looked an awful lot like teeth. Not teeth pushed through, mind you, but still under the gum flesh. I reminded myself that she’s only just three months old and therefore I was being ridiculous, ignoring things I had read before that mentioned that some babies can start teething at that age.

Fast-forward to Sunday. Oh my god, Sunday was awful. As you settle into being a parent, you start to pride yourself on your ability to soothe your child. You know how she wants to be held when she is upset. You know how to sway and bounce and rock. You know what songs she likes the best. You know what silly sounds will bring a smile to her face. You know when she’s hungry and when she’s just a little tired and needs a nap.

And then there comes a day when nothing you do will will soothe her. For parents of colicky kids, that day probably comes not long after birth, and I am so very grateful that Claire was not colicky. But on Sunday, she was inconsolable, and given what I saw on her gums last week, the drool that has become so common of late that you absolutely need to have a receiving blanket on your shoulder if you don’t want your shirt to be soaked (and even then the blanket doesn’t always help), and the way she would gnaw on anything in her mouth, I finally had to admit to myself the awful truth.

Claire is teething.

She had a doctor’s appointment on Monday to get the second round of the rotavirus vaccine (administered by drops in the mouth, thank god), and while we were there, I asked the doctor to check her gums to see if what I suspected was true. She confirmed that it does feel like Claire is starting, and she warned me that it could take weeks for the tooth to actually come in. Thankfully, that doesn’t mean a repeat performance of Sunday every single day until then. Rather, the tooth will likely bother her some days more than others. Monday was better than Sunday – until bedtime, that is – and today… well, she has been fussy, but I think that’s likely a combination of the tooth and the heat. My little girl does not like the heat – good thing her mommy moved from Montreal!

Last night was a little rough. Claire is usually pretty easy to put to bed. Other than her night-light, her room is in darkness, I have a tabletop fan running (blowing away from her) to create white noise, and on really hot nights I have her ceiling fan going. We sit in the rocking chair and while I give her the bottle, I usually sing “You are my Sunshine” a few times. Some nights she finishes the whole bottle, other nights she doesn’t; it depends on how much she ate during the hours leading up to bedtime. I put her up on my shoulder to burp her (usually unsuccessful as she is almost always half-asleep by this point), still rocking, and then lay her down on the nursing pillow in my lap. Rock her a little longer and then ever so slowly, get up and lay her down in her crib. I stand there for a minute or two, a hand resting lightly on her belly to make sure that she isn’t going to suddenly wake up the minute I leave the room, and then I tiptoe out and pull her door.

The whole thing probably takes about half-an-hour (in the middle of the night it’s a little longer because I have to change her diaper, which I do before feeding her so as not to wake her up), and it’s really quite relaxing for me too.

Last night? Not relaxing AT.ALL.

She made signs that she was hungry, mostly by sucking on the nipple the second I put the bottle in her mouth, but then she would thrash and cry and the milk would spill out down her cheek. I tried to soothe her a bit on my shoulder, which usually works, but she just thrashed and cried some more. If she had had the strength in her arms and legs, I’m sure she would have climbed up my chest. I tried singing to her, making “shhhh” sounds, stroking her back, patting her back. I tried walking around her room with her. Nothing worked. So I finally gave in, took my doctor’s advice, and gave her some baby Tylenol.

Talk about a miracle drug! Within minutes, she calmed down and I was able to feed her. She didn’t drink everything, but most of it was gone by the time she turned her face away. She was pretty much asleep by then and I was able to rock her a little bit and put her to bed. I tiptoed out and collapsed into my own bed.

Obviously I’m not going to give her Tylenol every time she’s upset or even difficult to console. The doctor said (and I already felt this way) that it’s best to use non-medicinal methods first, so when she’s teething, I will give her a cold washcloth or teething ring to chew on. It’s only if that doesn’t work either, or it’s her bedtime and I know she needs her sleep and a washcloth ain’t gonna do the trick that I’ll give her some Tylenol. Which hopefully won’t be often.

There is nothing worse than your child being in pain and not being able to do much to help her. On Sunday it felt like my heart was being torn out, ripped to shreds. I would gladly take all of that pain she was experiencing onto myself to relieve her of it. It’s just so unfair for someone so tiny to be in that much pain.

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Canada Day Wrap-Up

Posted on July 10, 2011 by amanda

We Nova Scotians had a horrible, cold, wet Spring. It’s never the best season here in the Maritimes, but this seemed to be worse than normal. But finally, over the Canada Day long weekend, we started to have some really beautiful, hot weather – Summer has arrived!

As mentioned here, Sherry and her family moved down to Halifax last week. They’re renting a townhouse over on the Halifax side which, after having lived in an apartment, is very exciting for them. As much as she loves the place, however, Sherry was slightly disappointed that there is no window over her kitchen sink. So Neal and I headed out to Lawrencetown Beach one evening last week and took some pictures. We got a couple enlarged and bought a frame so that she could hang it over her sink and it could be her “window”, as well as a reminder of one of the reasons they all moved here.

It worked out well because I was starting to go through ocean withdrawal – it’s not exactly on the top of my list of places to go in the Winter. It was also Claire’s first experience down by the ocean!

I'm not sure Claire was impressed. Perhaps because she was trying to find a way to escape her hat.

***

Neal’s parents came on Canada Day itself – they’ve been coming every long weekend since Claire was born. Not so much to see us, I’m sure. They’re just a tad bit in love. And really, who can blame them?

All dressed up for Nan and Gramp

My friend Nancy came over with her five-week-old grandson on Canada Day as well and joined us in a BBQ. I didn’t take any pictures of either of them, however, because Nancy doesn’t really like to have her picture posted online, and I wanted to respect her wishes. Since we wanted to enjoy the beautiful weather and have supper on the deck, I set up a sunscreen/tent that I bought so that Claire could be sheltered while I did some gardening. So far, the only time I’ve used it was on Canada Day. It’s much larger than I wanted, really, but perhaps we can take a snooze with her sometime!

The following day, we all went over to see Sherry, George and the girls in their new home! Sherry came running out of the house when she saw us pull into the driveway and shed a couple of tears of joy when she finally got to meet her niece for the first time. Hayley and Breanna were quite enamored with Claire as well. I’ve noticed that young kids are very interested in babies, but I expected them to lose interest at some point. Wrong! It was like Claire was the Pied Piper; they were pretty much attached to their cousin from the moment we arrived until the moment we left, and Sherry told me they talked about her all of the next day!

And of course, I was also super excited because I was able to see proof that I finally do have family in the city! I am beyond happy, knowing that I live a mere twenty minutes away! After living here for almost six years, that is pretty damn cool!

***

These next two photos are purely random. The first is here simply because it’s adorable:

Claire loves that mouse – if you pull on his legs and make him extend, he “jitters” back up.

As mentioned above, Summer has finally arrived, and we had a couple of particularly hot days and nights. It seemed as though Claire’s appetite decreased somewhat in the heat, so I tried to make her a little more comfortable by stripping her of her clothes.

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Blood Ties in the City

Posted on June 27, 2011 by amanda

Keeping up with blogging is tough when you have a small baby at home. On weekdays, I’m usually pretty busy with Claire and can only spare a few minutes here and there checking my email and Facebook, and if I’m lucky, I’ll read someone else’s blog. By the time Neal gets home from work, it’s time to talk about our days and for me to run around and get a few things done (laundry, sweeping/washing floors, etc) that I couldn’t get to because I was too busy having fun and playing with Claire.

As Neal and I see Claire everyday, we probably don’t notice the changes in her as much as other people would; my in-laws are coming down next weekend for the long weekend, so I’m sure they’ll see a big difference, and not only in her size. But here are the things we’ve noticed and I can think of:

* Her sleep continues to improve, by and large. She does have the odd night here and there when she’ll wake up more often, but lately we’ve been able to give her a bottle before we go to bed between 10pm and 11pm and she’ll sleep until 5 a.m. or so at which time I give her another bottle and then she goes back to sleep until 8:30 a.m. Last night was awesome because we gave her a bottle a little after 11 p.m. and she slept until 4 a.m. and then after Neal gave her a bottle, she slept again until 9 a.m.

* Her naps during the day are pretty sporadic. Over the past week or so, I’ve noticed that she often has a nap in the afternoon. I can usually take her out for a walk and then when I come home, she’s still sleeping in her car seat, so I just leave her there until she wakes up. In fact, I have even had to wake her up to feed her a couple of times when it gets close to our suppertime – and you know that she would wake up right when we sat down to eat!

* She is able to reach out and grab things, particularly some links we have attached to her vibrating chair. She really enjoys bringing those to her mouth! And if you put her hand around a rattle we have, she’ll shake it, although I think that the only conscious part of that is her decision to continue her vice grip on it.

* Tummy time is still a bit of a challenge; she hates being on her belly in a very big way. I know some parents whose babies will only sleep on their bellies and they have had to make the somewhat difficult decision to ignore the warnings against SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) as it is recommended that babies only sleep on their backs. At least I don’t have to make that decision because Claire will only sleep on her back, but I do wish she wouldn’t fight the tummy time during the day. We have, however, had a couple of episodes during this past week when, although she hasn’t enjoyed it, she has tolerated it for a few minutes. She is enjoying being up against my shoulder and looking around, though, so it seems that her neck is getting stronger even without spending a whole lot of time on her belly.

* She is definitely very “talkative” and spends much of her awake time cooing and gurgling. She really enjoys making a guttural sound in the back of her throat, so I think she’s going to end up speaking German when she’s older! Or she’ll speak with a Scottish accent and will roll her r’s.

***

I know I keep expressing amazement at how quickly the weeks are going by, but seriously, I can’t believe Claire is 11 weeks already! Almost 3 months! I am enjoying how interactive she is becoming, but it saddens me to think that the time is flying by. I try not to focus on that, but rather on how her personality continues to show itself and how her features continue to become more and more defined.

Happy gleeful baby!

She looks so grown up when I prop her up like this

***

So Sherry moves to Halifax tomorrow! I still don’t know if it has completely sunk in yet, that I am finally going to have family living in the city! Sherry and George have wanted to move here for so long, even before I came here to scope out the city. In fact, it was after seeing their pictures and hearing their stories from their first trip here (well, Sherry’s first trip; George had been here throughout his childhood) that I decided to take my vacation here.

Knowing how much they loved this place, I hoped that some day they would make the move. But I have to admit that as the years went by, I started to doubt that I would ever have family living near me. So when Sherry first told me they had actual concrete plans to move here, I was ecstatic! I emailed Sherry last week to tell her that I’d be coming by their place over the long weekend – I would go sooner but I know they’ll be busy unpacking on Wednesday, and I have a dentist appointment on Thursday. Neal’s parents are coming down on Friday afternoon, so I imagine it’ll be Saturday. I can’t wait!

Posted in Baby Talk, Mommyhood | 3 Comments

No, That Can’t Be Right…

Posted on June 9, 2011 by amanda

… Claire can’t be two months old already! I will admit – sheepishly – that yes, when we were first home with her and I was getting used to being woken up several times in the night that part of me looked toward that supposed magical age of 3 months when many babies start sleeping for longer stretches and they’re not crying so much. And that magical age felt like a very long way off. I felt a little bad about it because I shouldn’t be rushing my child’s life, right? Everyone tells you to cherish these moments – and I was, really, but I also felt like I would cherish moments more if I wasn’t so zombie-like. The guilt was minimized, however, by the realization that many other mommies do the same thing.

And yet, here we are and Claire is already two months – actually, she’s almost two months and one week! Seriously – where has the time gone?

She’s not sleeping through the night yet, of course, but most nights she will be content for a 5-hour stretch when we all first go to bed. After that, it might be 2 or three hours, but honestly, those first five hours (which generally translate into about 4 of actual sleep time for me by the time I get her settled and happy in her crib and I get under the covers and drift off) are a godsend. She’s also usually pretty easy to get back to sleep after, so that’s a huge plus. It means that I don’t find I need to have a nap in the middle of the day quite as much, which is good because Claire doesn’t always want to nap a whole lot or for any extended period of time during the day.

What is also really nice is that, once I got past 6 weeks postpartum, I was finally allowed to lift heavier items like the stroller, which meant that I could finally go out with Claire in the middle of the afternoon. We could both get some fresh air, she could nap a little bit, and I could get some exercise. Which I realized I need more of, after going to Zellers to pick up some postpartum summer clothes that would actually fit without giving me a “muffin top” – that was a very depressing shopping trip. But at least I have some stuff that fits!

The weather has also started to improve, making those aforementioned walks possible. That was one hell of a lot of rain we were having; I know I live in the Maritimes, but still: that was a tad ridiculous!

Yesterday was one of those really gorgeous days where it was hot and sunny, a day that just begged to be enjoyed. I packed Claire up in her stroller and we headed out to walk by Cranberry Lake, which is wonderfully close to my house.

Claire absolutely despises having anything on her head, so it's a miracle that she kept this bonnet on for most of the walk

I’m also hoping to do more activities with Claire outside the house that will get us to meet other moms and babies in the area. On Monday, we went with Amy and Ava to an activity called “Get Messy with Baby” that was held – for free! – at the community centre in the north end of Dartmouth. It was open to moms with babies from birth to 18 months. They had different types of mashed up food with different food colourings and the idea was to let your baby play with the different textures. Claire wasn’t overly impressed by that – I think she might have been a little too young and she just wondered why I was sticking her feet into mashed potatoes and the like. I cleaned her up and then we tried some of the painting. I was much more successful in getting a couple of footprints; when I put the paint on her hand, she just clenched it into a fist.

The left foot and right foot are pretty obvious. That blob over on the far left was my attempt to get a handprint.

***

Because Claire is now two months old, she had her check-up today. Which means she also had her needles. She was checked over and the doctor said that she looks great (well, of course she does!). She does have a bit of baby acne, but hopefully that’ll clear up on its own soon, and a little bit of eczema on her ear which I’m treating with some petroleum jelly on the earlobe. She weighs 11 lbs, 3 ounces and is measuring at 23.5 inches in length, which means that she’s pretty long!

The needles were not fun, of course, but Claire did really well. She cried, obviously, but we were able to settle her down pretty easily. I had given her the lowest dose of baby Tylenol before we left the house to help her out a bit and counter a fever, and so far, it seems to have done the trick, as her temperature is still normal, as of about 20 minutes ago. She’s sleeping A LOT, but the doctor said that that’s often the case. I may try to entice her with a little bit of formula soon to see if she’s hungry but too sleepy to realize it. We also opted to take part of a cost-effectiveness study and she was given the first dose of the rotavirus vaccine (the study is an attempt to show the government that they should cover the cost of this vaccine; because we’re part of the study, we don’t have to pay for it which I guess is a good thing since the doctor said it’s otherwise quite pricey), but that’s oral so it was not a big deal. She goes again in 4 weeks to get the second one and then she’ll be done with that.

All in all, she’s doing really well, Neal and I are doing really well.

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Transition

Posted on May 25, 2011 by amanda

I can’t remember which day it was, but sometime before last weekend, we started to transition Claire from sleeping in our room to sleeping in her crib in her own bedroom.

I had figured that we would likely have Claire sleep in her playpen in our room when she was first born because newborns are up so often throughout the night that it just seemed easier to have her right there. But I had never intended to have her sleep in our bed. I don’t want to knock the idea – I just figured that I would be way too nervous to sleep next to a newborn. I was always such a heavy sleeper – what if I rolled over on top of her and didn’t realize it?

Then reality came along and – just like my birth plan (ha!) and my full intention to breastfeed – taught me that I didn’t really know anything.

I think it was Claire’s first night of existence in the outside world that I threw all of the above to the wayside and brought her into the hospital bed with me. It was the only way the three of us were going to get any sleep because, although she had been able to sleep in the plastic hospital bassinet during the day, she was having none of that once the lights went out.

That pretty well continued when we got home. We always started her off in her playpen at the foot of our bed, but most nights she would end up sleeping in between us at some point. Again, it was the best way we knew to get some sleep. And after all, it’s whatever works, right? We did it as safely as possible – neither of us would be intoxicated in the least, we made sure she couldn’t be covered by the blankets, that she wasn’t close to our pillows, etc.

And I discovered something else: I am no longer a heavy sleeper, particularly when she’s sleeping right next to me. It’s just one of those things that comes with motherhood. I’m aware of pretty much every grunt and fart and gurgle she makes.

But still – having her sleep in the bed with me isn’t something that I want to be long-term, mostly because I don’t sleep as well or as soundly as I do if she isn’t right next to me. I still don’t sleep as soundly as I did before becoming a mother, but I do believe I will sleep better if she has her own space.

And so, we started to put her in her crib, unsure of how that would go. But it ended up going much better than expected! There are still times when we have to bring her into the bed with us, usually in the middle of the night or towards morning. She’s usually able to stay in the crib when we first put her in at the beginning of the night, though, which is nice. And I have discovered that I prefer to feed her in her room than in ours because it’s much more comfortable sitting in the rocking chair than it is in bed; I find that I slouch a lot when I’m giving her her bottle in bed.

It also means that we have really started to develop a bedtime routine. Since I don’t want to dry out her skin, I don’t give Claire an actual bath every night, but I do wipe her down and rub some Johnson’s moisturizer on her that has a lavender scent which is supposed to make her sleepy. Then, when it’s actually bedtime, I change her diaper, turn the hall light on so that I can see a little bit, turn off the light in her room, turn on the tabletop fan for white noise, and Claire and I sit in the rocking chair. She drinks, I try to burp her (emphasis on “try” as I’m not always successful), then we sit for awhile until she gets really sleepy. Well, until I think she’s actually asleep, at which time I get up, tiptoe as smoothly as possible to her crib, and gently lay her down… which is often when her eyes pop open, she draws her legs up, and she starts grunting.

Most of the time, thankfully, she grunts for a few minutes and then goes to sleep. Although it’s annoying to think that I have successfully rocked my daughter to sleep only to discover that I’m wrong, I am happy that it seems like she’s able to put herself to sleep if she is sleepy enough. Not bad for 6 weeks old, I think.

The first “leg” is usually the best, and we’ll often get 3 or 4 hours before she wakes up. After that? It’s anyone’s guess. Sometimes it’s 3 hours, sometimes it’s 2. On our not-so-great nights, it’ll be more like 1 or 1.5. I’m still anxiously awaiting the days when she sleeps for a 6-hour stretch, but for now, I’m pretty happy with how she’s doing. Because, after all, she’s only 6 weeks old.

Family photo - May long weekend, 2011

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Grumbling Baby Syndrome

Posted on May 20, 2011 by amanda

As if being a baby wasn’t hard enough, I learned this week that many babies also suffer from what pediatricians call “Grumbling Baby Syndrome” (GBS). Claire had to leave the warm comforting home that was my womb where all of her needs were met to live in this noisy, bright, all-too-spacious world where she needs to cry for food and needs to suffer the indignity of having her diaper changed and her bum wiped with cloths that, despite being dampened with warm water, are nonetheless cold on the skin. And now she is having to learn how to poop properly. Who knew?

Claire started to cry in a distressing kind of way and at first I was confused. I scanned her body to make sure that no part of her was being pinched or hurt in any other way, but everything was fine. As I watched her more closely, though, I saw that she was straining, her face turning a deep red like it does when she is having a bowel movement, but then she’d have a big, loud fart following which she would let out that horrible, high-pitched squeal of a cry. Farting had never phased her before, and really, it shouldn’t hurt her to fart. Neal did some googling and found out about this GBS.

The idea is that babies need to learn that although they need to tense up and push with their abdominal muscles, they must also relax their pelvic floor/bum muscles. I’m not sure why it wasn’t an issue for her as a newborn, but perhaps she is only now gaining control of her bowel movements and that’s why it only started to manifest itself in recent days.

And so, poop found in the diaper has become a momentous, exciting part of my day. That’s one thing that makes you a parent, isn’t it?

Thankfully, it doesn’t distress her all the time, and we’ve been blessed with seeing more smiles and hearing more cooing sounds lately. I’ve even heard what sounds like little laughs, although I’m not sure what it is that she finds so funny. Doesn’t matter really – that sound warms my heart and I can’t help but laugh myself.

How did she get to be so big already?

I love when she sleeps like this, with so much abandon

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One Month Update

Posted on May 10, 2011 by amanda

It’s currently 8:08 a.m. and I have already been awake for 3 hours.

Yes, that’s right. I’ve been awake since 5 a.m. Not by my choice, as I’m sure you can imagine. Rather, Claire decided that a) she was hungry (and it had been almost 3 hours since she had last eaten, so I fully expected this) and b) she had had enough of sleeping flat on her back. She really doesn’t seem to enjoy that, so if I have time – and if I remember – I may search around for ways to elevate one end of the mattress in her crib and see what she thinks of sleeping in there. It should be interesting since she currently sleeps in our room and she may not be terribly fond of sleeping in a totally separate room from us, but I can’t do anything about the mattress in her playpen or the mattress in our room, which are the two places she currently sleeps.

Neal put her in her swing –

NOT taken today

– and she drifted off to sleep for a bit, but only long enough for me to finish my tea and toast, say goodbye to Neal as he left for work, and lie down on the couch. I probably got 10 minutes of nap-time before she woke up, hungry again.

(Apparently no one told Claire that a baby at one month in her percentile should be drinking 20 oz per day – according to a book Sherry gave me – because she definitely drinks more than that most days)

So I fed her, she still fussed, so I changed her diaper, and she still fussed. She’s currently in her vibrating chair grunting and farting in a very unladylike way, ignoring the fact that the vibrating of the chair is supposed to soothe her and make her sleepy.

This is, actually, the second day in a row where she has fought sleep in the morning, although yesterday we did manage to stay in bed until 8 a.m. I was baffled yesterday when she managed to stay awake from that hour until noon when she finally conked out for a few hours – long enough for me to stuff a quick lunch down my throat and lie down for a nap myself. In a very naive sort of way, I keep hoping this is her sorting out her days and nights and soon I will have a baby who sleeps for 5 or 6 hours at night when Neal and I are sleeping.

Funny, I know!

In other baby-related news:

* She had her one-month appointment with the doctor on Friday and she weighed 8 lbs, 13 ounces, so the doctor was happy with that.

* We’re trying to figure out what kind of formula is best for her. In the hospital, she was on Similac. Then we put her on Good Start at home since that’s what we happened to have. It seemed to make her gassy so we switched back to Similac. A few days later, I noticed that her poop started to get runny and I worried that she was having diarrhea and might get dehydrated. We took her to the duty doctor who checked her over and determined she was doing well and to keep an eye on her – as long as she still has wet diapers and tears when she cries, then she’s not dehydrated. Still, we worried, and at her one-month appointment, our doctor – who didn’t seem overly concerned about her poop – said that we might as well switch back to Good Start, but didn’t appear to think that it would make a huge difference either way. So we put her back on Good Start. Almost immediately, her poop stopped (as had happened when we had her on it before) and she started getting fussier. So now we’re back on Similac and we’re going to see what happens. I will be very happy when we figure out what damn formula is good for her!

* Claire gave Neal precise instructions and on her behalf he picked up a box of chocolates and card for me for Mother’s Day. I was standing at the kitchen counter when I looked over at her in her vibrating chair and noticed the box stuck in with her. Neal also made me breakfast, lunch and supper. Otherwise it was a pretty quiet day – we hung out at home for a bit and then went out to buy Claire some more sleepers since she’s growing out of her newborn ones.

She actually seems settled now so I may just go lie down on the couch and see how long I get. For your enjoyment, some pictures:

My father-in-law isn't excited at all about the birth of his grand-daughter, as I'm sure you can tell!

Not impressed by hats. At all.

Dressed up for Mother's Day, and doing her favourite thing ever: eating!

Posted in Baby Talk, Mommyhood | 1 Comment

Settling In

Posted on May 1, 2011 by amanda

Three weeks ago yesterday, Neal and I welcomed our little girl into the world.

Holy crap. Three weeks? Really?

On the one hand, it’s hard to remember what life was like before Claire came into our lives, but for the most part, the time has flown by. We’ve been spending that time settling in, trying to get to know each other. One of the hardest parts has been, without a doubt, the interrupted sleep or sleep deprivation (and sometimes both). People tell new parents to sleep when the baby sleeps, and that is sound advice. Most of the time, the only time I know that Claire will sleep for more than 20 minutes is in the morning (and sometimes not even then) so it’s rare that Claire and I will be up before 10 a.m. I felt really weird and even guilty about that, thinking that a proper mother should be up with her child by 8 a.m. at the latest, until I spoke to a friend of mine with a newborn who told me that she does the same thing. And you know what? Sometimes, if time and Claire allow, I will even try to squeeze in a mini-nap in the afternoon. I have never been good with sleep deprivation, so these are the things I must do in order to have even a minimum level of brain power.

Another challenge has been decoding Claire’s cries and body language. Every so often, Neal and I think we have something figured out, only to discover she is using the same body language for something entirely different. I always remember hearing that when a baby brings her knees up, it means she has gas. Well, that doesn’t always appear to be the case with Claire (although we suspect she does get gas pretty often). She also seems to use that motion when she’s hungry, when she wants her diaper changed, when she wants to be cuddled – basically any time she is pissed off. One possible sign (in my inexperienced mind, at least) that it’s not always gas is that she’ll do the leg kicks and then as soon as I give her a bottle and she starts eating, her legs relax. One would think that the gas doesn’t go away when one eats…

But gas has also been an issue. We can’t always get Claire to burp no matter how long we try or the positions we put her in. The over-the-shoulder method – although sometimes leading to a mess on the floor or down one’s back – appears to work best for her, but sometimes it doesn’t do anything either. Sometimes it will be 30 minutes or an hour later when she’ll finally let out a nice loud belch, which is fine during the day, but not so great in the middle of the night when I just want to settle her down, get her to sleep so that I can also return to sleep. We had put her on Good Start formula at first, but with the possibility that it’s the formula causing the issue, we switched her to Similac, which is the brand used by the hospital and which she was on during our stay. So far, I’m not sure I’ve noticed much of a difference as she has been quite fussy lately, but then again, she is entering the 3-week growth spurt, so it’s hard to draw any conclusions at this point. We also picked up some Ovol drops; I’ve only given her one dose sometime this morning, but we’ll see how that goes.

So it’s been a guessing game. She cries, we observe her for some sign of what she wants, we try food and if that doesn’t work, then we try diaper, and if that doesn’t work, we try burping, and if that doesn’t work, well, I will typically turn to Neal if it’s a time when he’s at home.

And thank goodness for my husband. Honestly, I picked a good one! When I see Neal with Claire, talking to her in a voice he reserves just for her, my heart grows and I fall just a little bit more in love with him. He takes part in a big way in the care of Claire. It is always my intention to be the one dealing with the night-time feedings when he has to work the next day, but I have to admit that there have been times when I’ve turned to him and said, “I don’t know what else to do” and he’ll take her and try his hand, typically at burping (since by then I’ve already fed and changed her). He is, I believe, the Burping King because it seems that he can often get a burp out of her even when I’ve spent however long trying to do the same thing (and while I’m very thankful for his talent, I’m also quite jealous).

My, it sounds like a lot of complaints, doesn’t it? That’s not my intention with this entry. I also can’t help but stare at her even when we’re watching television – it doesn’t seem like much can hold my attention the way she can. Yesterday we bought a swing with some money my parents sent to us and she was in it in the evening, but I felt like I had hardly held her all day as we had been out running errands for most of the afternoon, so I was compelled to take her out of the swing and hold her while we watched some TV before bed.

(The swing, however, was an awesome purchase! Claire was really fussy this morning and I couldn’t get her settled for more than 15 or so minutes at a time, so I finally gave up on getting some extra sleep and we got up. I put her in the swing to entertain her while I grabbed some breakfast, and she fell asleep, so after I ate, I lay down on the couch for almost an hour before she woke up for her next feeding!)

She is absolutely perfect. Although her smiles may not be genuine at this early stage, I love to see them, and I choose to believe they are. I love how she will gaze up into my face or Neal’s with absolute awe. I often find myself imagining what she’ll look like when she’s a toddler and she’s running around, and I have this recurring image that pops into my mind of her riding a tricycle. She makes a million funny little sounds including some old-man grunts. She has a really funny facial expression when her mouth goes into a perfect “O” and I wonder what that’s all about. Successful accomplishments for the day – for myself, you realize – include suctioning out boogers from her nose when I can hear them in her breathing, seeing that she has had a poopy diaper, and when I can get her to burp and then start to fall asleep on my shoulder.

Housework has definitely gone by the wayside these days, so if you’re local and thinking about dropping by, keep that in mind. I try to sweep the floors every so often, but washing them often involves some spot cleaning. I haven’t dusted since before Claire was born. I do manage to wipe down the counters in the kitchen and the bathroom regularly, and other than that, I’m happy if I can stay on top of the laundry (which has become an almost-daily event) and the dishes and manage to eat something halfway nutritious during the day.

It’s insane how one tiny little person who can’t even walk or talk can change your entire life, isn’t it?

Posted in Mommyhood | 3 Comments

A Word on Breastfeeding

Posted on April 18, 2011 by amanda

Breastfeeding is a topic that can be quite contentious because, like many things in the realm of parenthood, people feel very strongly about it. I hope that by posting this entry it will help other new mothers out there, and that rather than receive judgment from anyone, I will receive support.

I feel very strongly about breastfeeding as well. It has always been my plan to breastfeed my child, since well before I even had any concrete plans to have a baby. We all know about the benefits: breast milk has all of the nutrients a baby needs; it’s convenient insofar as you don’t have to clean and sterilize bottles; it’s cheaper, and so on. Quite simply, it was just never something I gave much thought to – it was a given that I would breastfeed when I had a child.

But as I mentioned in this entry, it seems that very little has actually gone according to plan since my labour started: I was going to have a natural birth with no drugs – I ended up getting narcotics AND an epidural; I was going to have a vaginal birth – I ended up with a C-section. And now breastfeeding: I was going to breastfeed my child, but I have since made the very difficult decision to formula-feed.

My reasons for doing so are not the usual ones you hear. The most common concern for new parents is whether their child is getting enough milk, as there is no way to measure your output like there is with formula. My mom even mentioned tonight that that was one thing that worried her, particularly when my sister would be wanting to be fed a lot; it made her wonder if she was producing enough (of course, we know now that chances are, she was making enough and my sister was probably just going through a growth spurt).

I didn’t have that concern. Of course I’d worry a little, but I would know that I would simply have to make sure that she was having enough wet and dirty diapers, plus she would be weighed at doctor’s appointments, etc.

This is where this entry may become a little uncomfortable for people who know me in “real life”, but I will do my best not to go into a huge amount of detail.

Let’s just say that I have always been sensitive, even before getting pregnant – and not in a good way. I suppose it was in the back of my mind during my pregnancy, wondering if that would affect my plans to breastfeed, but I just pushed the concern away, figuring that I would manage and everything would be fine. And when I first had Claire and was rolled into the recovery room and she immediately went to feed, that hope grew. But of course, for one thing, I was on a bit of a high now that I had (finally) had my baby; for another, I was still pretty frozen from the surgery, and that extended a good deal up my chest.

While in the hospital, I did get a few bad latches and my nipples ended up being “a mess”, as one blunt (but lovely) nurse put it: cracked, scabbed and blistered. I had to stop breastfeeding and started supplementing with formula while using the hospital’s pump to express the colustrum which we then either finger-fed to Claire or added to her formula. We continued with that when we first got home (although by then the milk had started coming in), but then they had healed up somewhat, so when the public health nurse called to see how I was doing, I asked her to come by to help me with getting some good latches.

The public health nurse was lovely and she showed me some really good techniques, and my hope grew again. After she left, I started breastfeeding again. And after a good deal of time, I realized that I was in pain. Again. And not from bad latches, but just from a bad combination: me being more sensitive than many women, and Claire having a rather aggressive “suck” (which the nurses and my doctor pointed out, so I guess she does have a stronger latch than other newborns).

Like I said, it was a horribly difficult decision to make. I sobbed – literally – because I felt so guilty. Even after a fairly short period of time, despite my plans to breastfeed my child, I was already dreading her feeding cries. How could a mother dread feeding her own child? But it was there, and beneath the guilt, I knew that it was not so much that I dreaded feeding her, but dreaded the pain of feeding her.

I talked about it with Neal and with some friends, and with my sister. The following day, we had Claire’s first doctor’s appointment (which went very well!), and I discussed it with my doctor. My doctor was very supportive and she said the same thing Sherry said to me – that Mom needs to be happy too and it will not do anyone any good if I’m dreading feeding her.

So I’m still pumping until I dry up, and I’m feeding her what I get, but mostly we’re giving her formula. There may be some residual guilt still there, but I’m really happy with the decision. Personally, I don’t believe I need to breastfeed to bond with my daughter; rather, given my specific situation, I’m bonding with her more by bottle-feeding and just holding her close. I’m still a huge proponent for breastfeeding, and I do think that in most cases, women should try it. Formula-feeding can be inconvenient because it involves washing and sterilizing bottles and nipples, having to figure out how to transport formula when you’re out and about, having to try to soothe a crying baby who wants to eat while waiting for the formula to warm up, whereas breast milk is just readily available. But one positive side of formula-feeding is that Neal can also feed her and have that bonding experience as well.

And the main thing is that Claire and I are both happy and healthy.

I know that some readers may think I gave up too quickly, that I should have just gritted my teeth, I should have called the public health nurse back in, and so on and so forth, but I knew how I felt and I knew that I needed to deal with it right away. So, as I wrote above, although I know that people feel very strongly about breastfeeding, I hope that I will get support from those who visit this blog rather than judgment.

Posted in Baby Talk, Mommyhood | 17 Comments