Unfair

While cleaning Claire’s gums with a washcloth at the end of last week, I noticed some white… things on her gums that looked an awful lot like teeth. Not teeth pushed through, mind you, but still under the gum flesh. I reminded myself that she’s only just three months old and therefore I was being ridiculous, ignoring things I had read before that mentioned that some babies can start teething at that age.

Fast-forward to Sunday. Oh my god, Sunday was awful. As you settle into being a parent, you start to pride yourself on your ability to soothe your child. You know how she wants to be held when she is upset. You know how to sway and bounce and rock. You know what songs she likes the best. You know what silly sounds will bring a smile to her face. You know when she’s hungry and when she’s just a little tired and needs a nap.

And then there comes a day when nothing you do will will soothe her. For parents of colicky kids, that day probably comes not long after birth, and I am so very grateful that Claire was not colicky. But on Sunday, she was inconsolable, and given what I saw on her gums last week, the drool that has become so common of late that you absolutely need to have a receiving blanket on your shoulder if you don’t want your shirt to be soaked (and even then the blanket doesn’t always help), and the way she would gnaw on anything in her mouth, I finally had to admit to myself the awful truth.

Claire is teething.

She had a doctor’s appointment on Monday to get the second round of the rotavirus vaccine (administered by drops in the mouth, thank god), and while we were there, I asked the doctor to check her gums to see if what I suspected was true. She confirmed that it does feel like Claire is starting, and she warned me that it could take weeks for the tooth to actually come in. Thankfully, that doesn’t mean a repeat performance of Sunday every single day until then. Rather, the tooth will likely bother her some days more than others. Monday was better than Sunday – until bedtime, that is – and today… well, she has been fussy, but I think that’s likely a combination of the tooth and the heat. My little girl does not like the heat – good thing her mommy moved from Montreal!

Last night was a little rough. Claire is usually pretty easy to put to bed. Other than her night-light, her room is in darkness, I have a tabletop fan running (blowing away from her) to create white noise, and on really hot nights I have her ceiling fan going. We sit in the rocking chair and while I give her the bottle, I usually sing “You are my Sunshine” a few times. Some nights she finishes the whole bottle, other nights she doesn’t; it depends on how much she ate during the hours leading up to bedtime. I put her up on my shoulder to burp her (usually unsuccessful as she is almost always half-asleep by this point), still rocking, and then lay her down on the nursing pillow in my lap. Rock her a little longer and then ever so slowly, get up and lay her down in her crib. I stand there for a minute or two, a hand resting lightly on her belly to make sure that she isn’t going to suddenly wake up the minute I leave the room, and then I tiptoe out and pull her door.

The whole thing probably takes about half-an-hour (in the middle of the night it’s a little longer because I have to change her diaper, which I do before feeding her so as not to wake her up), and it’s really quite relaxing for me too.

Last night? Not relaxing AT.ALL.

She made signs that she was hungry, mostly by sucking on the nipple the second I put the bottle in her mouth, but then she would thrash and cry and the milk would spill out down her cheek. I tried to soothe her a bit on my shoulder, which usually works, but she just thrashed and cried some more. If she had had the strength in her arms and legs, I’m sure she would have climbed up my chest. I tried singing to her, making “shhhh” sounds, stroking her back, patting her back. I tried walking around her room with her. Nothing worked. So I finally gave in, took my doctor’s advice, and gave her some baby Tylenol.

Talk about a miracle drug! Within minutes, she calmed down and I was able to feed her. She didn’t drink everything, but most of it was gone by the time she turned her face away. She was pretty much asleep by then and I was able to rock her a little bit and put her to bed. I tiptoed out and collapsed into my own bed.

Obviously I’m not going to give her Tylenol every time she’s upset or even difficult to console. The doctor said (and I already felt this way) that it’s best to use non-medicinal methods first, so when she’s teething, I will give her a cold washcloth or teething ring to chew on. It’s only if that doesn’t work either, or it’s her bedtime and I know she needs her sleep and a washcloth ain’t gonna do the trick that I’ll give her some Tylenol. Which hopefully won’t be often.

There is nothing worse than your child being in pain and not being able to do much to help her. On Sunday it felt like my heart was being torn out, ripped to shreds. I would gladly take all of that pain she was experiencing onto myself to relieve her of it. It’s just so unfair for someone so tiny to be in that much pain.