As I mentioned here, Claire and I met with the director of her future daycare this week, and it went really well. Near the end of the meeting, the director told me that I have some choice when it comes to when we start bringing Claire.
Included in the deposit (which is the equivalent of one week of daycare) is the orientation. On the Tuesday of this orientation, I will go in with Claire for an hour, she’ll play, and then we will both leave. On the Wednesday, I drop her off, by herself (GASP, WHEEZE) for an hour while I go cry in the car/go have a cup of tea at Tim Horton’s (and probably cry). After that, we will determine what Thursday and Friday will look like, but I am thinking it will be something like dropping her off for half a day on Thursday and then a whole day on Friday. I had heard about these orientation weeks, and really like the idea; although she is still going to have to adjust after that, at least it eases Claire into the situation a little bit.
Here is where the decision comes in. We can either do the orientation the week before I go back to work – which is what I had originally planned – or we can start the orientation two weeks before, and then do a “trial run” the week before I go back to work. The director said that for one thing, we could make the days slightly shorter for Claire (so, for instance, I could drive Neal into work first, then drop her off, and in the afternoon pick her up first and then go get Neal – at most this would probably amount to an hour off her day). For another, it could give me some time to myself to, I don’t know, get my hair done, buy some work clothes (because god knows most of my pre-pregnancy work clothes ain’t gonna fit this body – sigh), cook and freeze a bunch of meals for when I first go back to work… That deposit I paid can either pay for this trial run week, or it can pay for my first week back to work if I do what I had originally planned.
So, allow me to be selfish for a minute. I HATE the idea. I have to give up a week with my daughter when I’m about to go back to work and my time with her is drastically reduced? Sure, I can go and get my hair done and pick up some clothes, and maybe cook a few meals, but then what? I cannot imagine being in this house alone all day with no giggling, crawling, babbling baby following me around room to room. I usually pick up groceries by myself on Thursday evenings after supper while Neal stays home with Claire, and it is not uncommon for me to start missing her like crazy as I pick up the last few items on my list. After being home with her all day.
I don’t need a week by myself to get shit done before I return to work. Neal is more than capable of staying home with our daughter while I go to the hair salon to get a haircut, and ditto for me going out to the mall to get some clothes. I might make a few soups to bring to work for lunch, but I can do that with Claire at home, or even on the Thursday or Friday of the orientation week. I had every intention of cooking and freezing a bunch of meals when I was home at the end of my pregnancy, but despite being bored and impatient, I made a few soups and called it a day. I doubt it will be much different now.
So, all of this is leading me to believe that my decision should be to skip the “trial run” week, and just do the orientation bit the week before I return to work. Except… what’s best for Claire? The director also mentioned that it can help with getting the baby adjusted, but I honestly can’t see how much of a difference it will make. If it’s going to take her a month or two months to adjust to going to daycare, it’s not really going to make a difference if she starts a week early or not. Yes, I could make the days a little shorter, but like I said, we’re probably looking at an hour at most. Will an almost-year-old really know that Mommy came a little early? Doubtful.
I feel like I’ve made my decision – just start the orientation the week before and forget about the trial run – but I keep having this doubt in the back of my mind asking, “But what is the best thing for Claire?”
