Just What Every Pregnant Woman Needs

I slept horribly on Friday night. I fell asleep fairly easily, but then kept waking up with contractions. They weren’t painful; rather I could just feel my uterus tighten for a minute or so, and then relax, tighten, then relax. Around 3 a.m., it got to the point where I was so distracted by them that I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I finally got up around 3:30. I was a little hungry, so I had a bowl of cereal and read a couple of chapters on the couch. When I got back into bed at 4 a.m., I was still up and down, so when it came time to get up on Saturday morning, I was feeling pretty bleary-eyed.

Neal and I got up, had breakfast, and puttered around. I noticed that I was having menstrual-like cramps which I know are pretty common for the end of pregnancy. Neal wanted to go to a couple of stores and said that if I wanted, I could just stay home and rest, but since I’m home pretty much all week, I wanted to get out, and I thought that maybe the walking around and fresh air would do me some good. I was also hoping that it might kick-start labour.

We went to Home Depot and then headed over to the mall since Neal wanted to look for some new pants. We went to the food court first for a bite to eat; by this point, I was feeling particularly crampy and uncomfortable. We ended up only going into a couple of stores at the mall after lunch because I just didn’t feel good at all and felt like going home.

As soon as we got home, I changed into my pajama bottoms and went to sit on the couch. I was starting to notice that I had one spot on my lower right abdomen that was more painful than anywhere else, but I hoped that by just sitting down and resting, it would go away. Neal put on a documentary from Netflix, “The Business of Being Born” (excellent!) which is about midwifery and the current American medical system where women are getting drugs and even scheduling C-sections as a matter of course. He was a little worried that it might freak me out since we’re so close to labour, but if anything, it just cemented my desire to have a natural birth.

Unfortunately, however, resting on the couch wasn’t making me feel any better physically. I was tired because of the horrible sleep I’d had the night before, so I went to lie down in the bedroom. Thankfully, I was able to doze off for a little while. But when I got up, the pain in my lower right side was worse. It was aggravated every time I walked or moved around, and by contractions. I finally decided that I didn’t want to fool around with that anymore since I had no idea what was causing pain to be present in one particular spot, so Neal and I ate a quick supper and headed down to the hospital so I could be checked out.

As it turns out, it looks like I just pulled a ligament or tendon in that area. Every time I move or I have a contraction, it squeezes that spot and thus it hurts. Just what every pregnant woman needs at the end of her pregnancy, right? I have no idea how I did it. Maybe it was from carrying up a bag or two of groceries on Friday (don’t get mad at Neal – he was bringing them in from the car and I decided to carry them up the inside stairs to the kitchen), but I would have thought that it would have affected me sooner in that case. Maybe it was from bending down to get something at some point, because god knows I’ve become even more of a klutz than usual and I am constantly dropping stuff. Maybe it was just some movement I made, or getting out of bed (which has become increasingly difficult and involves a lot of hand placement and thought and grunting).

And then, to top it all off, despite all of these contractions I’ve been having the past couple of days, when the nurse did a physical check-up to see if I was progressing, I was still the same as I was at my doctor’s appointment on Tuesday (1 cm dilated, although she said I was close to 2cm, and 80% effaced). I know that the contractions are getting me ready, but I can’t help but feel that all that pain and discomfort I’ve had for the past couple of days have been for nothing.

No matter how I did it, it’s frustrating. You know what? I’ve had an amazing pregnancy. Very little nausea. I’ve been able to remain pretty active for a long time. I’m still within the desired range for weight gain. I’ve only had one food-related meltdown. I’ve had some emotional moments that I completely blame on hormones, but really not very many. I had a two-week stint of horrible headaches, but they went away. Very few leg cramps. Seriously – it’s been really good.

But now? With tomorrow being my due date and feeling increasingly uncomfortable, not being sure if I should go for a walk or not because ohmygod I might aggravate this pulled ligament/tendon, the back pain, the contractions that don’t seem to be changing me physically… well, suffice it to say that I am DONE WITH THIS WHOLE PREGNANCY THING. I was already anxious to have Baby Guthrie here, and now I can add to that the fact that bloody hell, I would like to have my body back and be able to bend down for things when I drop them, and be able to roll out of bed without it being a huge production.

To add to my frustration is the very fact that my due date is tomorrow. I can’t help but feel that with each day that goes by with no water breaking or labour starting, the likelihood that I’m going to have to be induced increases. As mentioned above, I am really hoping to have a natural birth. I know that some people will think I’m crazy to decline drugs that will take away the pain of childbirth, but I have my reasons for it. I mean, obviously I’ve never gone through this before and yes, if I really truly feel that I can’t handle it, then fine. I’ll get the epidural and deal with it. But I do believe I can handle it and I do believe that my reasons for doing so are good enough and strong enough to get me through it.

But obviously, if I go too much over my due date, then I’ll have to be induced. And once you introduce pitocin, the drug that induces labour, your chances of going without an epidural start to decline because all of a sudden, you go from having basically no contractions to full-blown, insane contractions with none of the build-up that you would (hopefully) have if you just went into labour naturally. And that really upsets me because my decision to go natural has become quite important to me during my pregnancy.

This realization has probably helped me to make a decision, however. If I don’t go into labour between now and then, I have a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday, and I imagine we will discuss the possibility of me being induced. I was going to go in with an open mind; my doctor had mentioned at one point that, as long as there was availability, I would likely have the choice of waiting one week after my due date or two weeks, and I really didn’t think I knew what I wanted to do. But I think that now that the possibility is looming over me, I have come realize that I do, in fact, know what I want/should do.

If I were to choose to be induced after one week, it would be for selfish reasons. I would be doing it because I don’t want to be pregnant anymore. I would be doing it because I just want to meet my daughter already and start down this new path of mommyhood. If I wait two weeks, however, it would be mostly because of Baby Guthrie and what I feel would be in her best interest (well, there would be a selfish component with that as well – after all, who wants to be launched into sudden, intense pain?). I’ll still be open to my doctor’s opinion, but I really feel like I’m going to choose to wait the longer period of time.