Although I woke up feeling quite bleary-eyed this morning, wanting nothing more than to simply pull the covers up over my head and go back to sleep, I was in a very good mood. For one, I just thought, “Last Monday!”, referring to the fact that this is my last week of work before going on maternity leave (a mantra I repeated silently to myself throughout the day). And for another, I realized that I had finally hit the week I have been waiting for for such a long time: 37 weeks, which means that if Baby Guthrie was born today, she would be considered to be full-term.
(37 weeks!)
It is so surreal to be at this stage, to know that our daughter could be born any day now. I was telling a friend today that it’s so weird because I’ve had a date for every single exciting event in my life – until now. You always know when you’re going on a vacation somewhere (at least by the time you really start to get excited about it). I knew the date of my wedding. But I really have no idea when Baby Guthrie will make an appearance.
We’ve had the hospital bag packed for awhile now. Actually, I started to pack it right after I fell on the ice. Having contractions that are 2-3 minutes apart for awhile will make you a little paranoid. I’ve slowly been adding to it, but it’s pretty well finished other than a few things I can’t pack until I’m in labour and/or my water has broken and it’s time to go to the hospital – and for those items, I have a list on the side of the fridge. The doctor will be doing a cervical exam next week to see how dilated and effaced I am, if at all, and because it’s possible for a woman’s water to be broken in the process, Neal is going to try to get that morning off so that he can come with me, and we’ll put the hospital bag in the trunk of the car. Just in case. It probably won’t happen, but it’s better to be prepared than not!
As would certainly be expected, I’ve been wondering how it’s all going to play out. Will the process begin next week with my water breaking during the cervical exam? Will labour begin while I’m here at home during the day next week? Will it be during the day this week, when I’m at work (ha! Wouldn’t that be fun! Not.)? Will I wake up in the middle of the night with labour pains and maybe my water breaking?
I find myself almost analyzing every twinge and cramp these days – and now that she’s spending more and more time in my lower abdomen and pelvis, there’s a lot of twinging and cramping going on. I’ll think, “Is this it? Is this the start?” only to be somewhat disappointed when it goes away. I know I’ll know when it’s labour – I’m not analyzing it because I’m worried or paranoid. It’s excitement driving me.
And so, I try to remind myself that it really would be nice to have some time to myself after finishing work before Baby Guthrie arrives. First and foremost, there is sleep to be had – something that I won’t have much of for a good long while once she’s born. There is writing and reading to be done. I want to tidy up the guest bedroom downstairs. I want to cook and freeze meals for the first little while that Baby Guthrie is here while we try to get our bearings. I want to go for short walks around the neighbourhood. I want to be able to put my feet up and nap whenever I want.
So I’m trying not to be too pushy. I’ve told her to come when she’s ready. If I get to Week 42, however, I may be singing a much different tune!
