More than once, while looking for a good book, I have wished for a Ninja Libraian. (YouTube)

Eight Things I Don’t Understand About George:

1. Why he has eleventy billion pairs of shoes and boots. Am I living with Imelda Marcos? Seriously, our hall closet is CRAMMED full of running shoes, cowboy boots (rowr), and dress shoes. I think I have maybe five or six pairs and he has at least three times as many as I do.
2. Why he not only takes up more cupboard and drawer space than I do, but he also has sweaters piled in the cupboard that are so old I have never EVER seen him wear them. Judging from the style and pattern, I’d say some of them date back to at least the early 90s.
3. How he can sit and eat canned ravioli or spaghetti cold and straight out of the can. Totally gross.
4. Why I have to practically hold a gun to his head to make him go to the doctor. Not that I’m all that great myself, but he’s far worse.
5. How he can read so many Dean Koontz books in a row – after two or three, they all start to run together.
6. The attraction that The Military Channel holds for him. I think it’s a great channel if I’m looking to fall asleep.
7. Why he keeps so many old spare computer parts and pieces and cases. Seriously. You should see the music room.
8. Why he was interested in me in the first place and why he was interested enough to still be here after all this time.

Eight Things George Does Not Understand About Me:

1. How I’ve killed so many computers in all our time together. Which is unfair, because I don’t kill them so much as they revolt and then I must defend myself against them with a hammer.
2. What my problem is with his clothes. Doesn’t everyone have enough clothes that he has to take over part of every cupboard in the entire home?
3. Why I don’t believe in my own abilities because I am so self-deprecating sometimes and am often on the verge of throwing in the towel.
4. Why I get frustrated so fast over, well, everything. I’m surprised he didn’t run away and never look back way back when I first decided to try to learn to bake.
5. How I managed to never tire of going to see him play; back in the early days of our relationship, he was playing almost every weekend on both Friday and Saturday nights and I think that up until the time Hayley was born, I missed maybe six or seven gigs and most of those were because they were private parties that I couldn’t attend. In fact, I even went to see him play two days before Breanna was born.
6. What in the hell is wrong with me that I still leave so many cups in the bedroom. I really am getting better, I don’t usually have seven in there at a time, but there usually are two and always at least one.
7. Why I insist on watching so much of what he deems as crap television like reality shows and Gray’s Anatomy and my soap opera. Thank God I managed to get him completely hooked on Criminal Minds so that we have at least one show that we can watch together where neither of us rolls our eyes at the other.
8. After all this time I still love him and gave him two beautiful daughters.

And yet despite our combined confusion over each other, yesterday we marked eight years together. We often joke about how incredibly long those eight years have been but really, it’s not that long. It’s crazy to think about all the stuff we’ve managed to fit into that little amount of time.

Eight years. I figure if neither of us has checked into a psych ward in an effort to get away from each other, then we’re still doing pretty well.

Happy anniversary George!

Continue reading →

Never underestimate the fun that can be had in a park in the middle of the Winter.

Although I still despise the season and loathe the snow, Hayley loves it. Personally, on a day like today, where it was snowing in the morning and then sunny and cold in the afternoon, I would be very happy with a blanket, a couch, a cup of tea, and a good book. Sadly, children rarely agree.

I couldn’t get Breanna to take a nap early enough to wait for her, so instead I left her with George, who managed to knock her out for two hours just by rocking her and playing some music for her (which would not work so easily for me!), and Hayley and I headed out after lunch.

Continue reading →

If you’ve never seen them before, check out these great photos of Habitat ’67, built here in Montreal for the Olympics. I always loved them. They’re ridiculously expensive.

I love celebrities and I love celebrity snark. But that said, I feel sorry for Britney. Clearly something is Not Right in her head right now. The head you can see so much more of now, since she checked into rehab, checked out 24 hours later, and then showed up in front of a hairdresser, demanding to have her head shaved. When the hairdresser refused, Britney grabbed the razor and did it herself. Then she went to a tattoo parlor where she screamed and carried on and got a tattoo of red lips inked onto her wrist.

No, seriously.

It would be laughable if you didn’t factor in all the bad child decisions she’s made (hello, driving with a baby on her lap), the weird Kevin Federline relationship, the pending divorce, the drinking, the coochie-flashing, and the downward spiral. But when I do consider all those things plus the events of the past couple of days, I don’t know whether to worry that Britney’s going to be found in a hotel room with an empty bottle of sleeping pills and a mickey of vodka or whether to worry she’s going to be seen sitting on a highway overpass, picking off drivers with a shotgun.

If ever there was a celebrity who should have been steered into a different career path, well, this is it. Even Paris Hilton is starting to seem sane now, sex videos and all.

(And if I may just be snarky for one second about this, at least Sinead O’Conner had a nice head and still looked good without hair; the same can not be said about everyone, I’m afraid.)

We finally got some of the winter that Montreal has missed this year. The snow we got was nowhere near what parts of Ontario got, but at least the snow plows and sidewalk cleaners got to come out.

Despite the fact that the snow is really not that deep, it did wreak some havoc on drivers for awhile because we had some crazy-ass winds, especially last night where the walls were rattling, and it blew snow around on the highways and stuff. The biggest thing that is currently waving and shouting, “hello, it’s WINTER!” is the temperature. The base temp isn’t so bad, it’s only -8C (17F) but the windchill is currently making it -22C (-7.6F), which I also like to call MinusHolyCrap. It’s the kind of weather where you walk outside and your nose runs for two seconds, then freezes shut. Fun times.

Which would explain why we decided not to go out to play in the snow; instead, Hayley and I spent some time lying on the living room floor, making up fart songs while Breanna applauded.

How long until Spring?

Right. So some people asked me about things, so here you go.

Continue reading →

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – Valentine’s Day, to me, is more fun with kids. I guess it comes from the fact that my own mother always made it a special day. We got little gifts, she decorated the kitchen table, and we always had a nice dinner. Having Hayley and Breanna here makes it special now too; they got gifts and ate a bit too much sugar, they got dressed up, and Hayley and I baked cookies and did themed crafts. It’s not that I’m the big anti-romantic, it’s just that I don’t feel a huge need to celebrate the day with George because our anniversary comes around eight days later on February 22nd, and to me that’s just more important.

Besides, it’s hard for me to get excited about a day that was hyped up by marketing executives who want you to believe the day is all about who has the biggest diamond, a diamond that was probably dug out of a mine by a 13-year-old boy in Africa and who was then shot just so De Beers could sell it in a necklace for $500.

(I do enjoy cinnamon hearts and chocolate though.)

Continue reading →

Let’s see. In the past little while I’ve been somewhat busy.

1. I’ve been doing a lot of this:

I can’t stop baking all of a sudden. Please help me, it’s like a disease. After refusing to do anything but the occasional cake mix or Pillsbury chocolate chip cookies, I can’t keep myself away from my oven. I’m averaging a batch of my grandmother’s baking powder biscuits every two or three days, mostly because once I make them I turn into a pig and eat most of them and then I want more. I seem to have perfected them, making them deliciously flaky. I also made a ginormous batch of banana chocolate chip cookies which lasted a few days. I love them but they’re hard for me to make, only because Hayley tends to eat all the bananas before they can get ripe enough; I have to actually hide them if I want to keep them long enough to make the cookies.

2. We signed Hayley up for soccer. We weren’t sure if we would but we decided it would be good for her because she has so much freakin’ energy and we don’t. She also loves soccer (or at least the idea of it, as far as kicking the ball goes) and we figure it will be good practice for her before school starts in the Fall. She starts playing in May and I can’t believe I have a child who is old enough for me to suddenly be a soccer mom. Where’s my minivan?

3. Speaking of school, we went and registered Hayley for kindergarten too. I’m not sure how well I’ll hold up when the time comes for her first day but she is so excited about it. She still doesn’t like the idea of the white shirts that she has to wear but she can’t wait to go. It really is a good little school and I think she’ll enjoy it. How did my first born child get old enough for SCHOOL?! I have all these forms to fill out and a list of school supplies and the nutrition guidelines as to what is and is not allowed to be sent for snacks and lunches and I’m wondering how this all happened.

4. Our phone line died. We finally got it fixed which is a bit of a relief. Strangely enough even though I actually hate talking on the phone for the most part and also hate when the phone rings incessantly (usually at supper time, argh), it drove me crazy. We did have a cell phone for emergencies but it was annoying when I couldn’t just call my mom to tell her about the soccer thing or call the library to register Hayley for next month’s English storytime.

5. I’ve admitted to my utter obsession with the show “Criminal Minds”. I’ve been enjoying it lately and have been catching up on missed episodes but I’ve gone the next step. I’ve been lurking (and finally signed up) on the fan forum and last night I actually did the ultimate in fandom by writing a Criminal Minds Fan Fiction. When I get it typed up (it’s hand written in a notebook, how old-skool!) I’ll submit it to fanfiction.net and uh, maybe I’ll tell you where it is if I’m not too embarrassed. Basically, it’s become my favorite show. After seeing the conclusion to the two-parter last Wednesday, even Lost was a total wash for me, despite waiting 13 freakin’ weeks for it to come back on.

6. I’ve been doing a bit of web work which is always nice.

And that’s about it. Well that, and all the usual things like trying to keep the apartment from reaching post-apocalyptic states, feeding the hungry hordes, and being Mom.

How have YOU been? Someone please tell me they watch “Criminal Minds” too. Tell me about the joys of soccer. Reassure me that I’ll survive sending my kid to school. Discuss.

Why did McDonald’s put a plastic penis in my daughter’s Happy Meal?

When did I become so domestic? I am in the process of attempting to make this cute cloth cat. Thus far I have learned that I really hate cutting out pieces of fabric after tracing patterns. And I still suck at threading a needle (after much cursing, I handed it to George who did it in 3.2 seconds). But so far I have both sides of the head partially done.