This is one of those things that is utterly hilarious, as long as it’s a) not your kid and b) not your home. Kid paints a giant penis on family home’s rooftop!
Author Archives: Sherry
Shredding – Or why I am a lemming
It seemed like everywhere I turned on the internet, people were talking about some kind of hardcore workout and loving it. Or at least having a love-hate relationship with it. It seemed everyone was talking about the “30 Day Shred” with Jillian Michaels.
At first I paid no mind to it because I’m not an exercise fan. Fitness, sure, but if you can actually call it exercise I lose interest. About ten years ago I was in the best shape of my life. Every muscle in my body was rock hard, I had excellent balance and flexibility, and I was super fit. I was doing Kung Fu back then, going at least 5 days out of 7, and usually it was 6 days. On most of the days I was doing two back-to-back hour-long sessions. I was seriously into my martial arts. But it worked for me because it was fun. It made me strong and I felt like I could kick someone’s ass (though I was never stupid enough to put myself in dangerous situations to test that!), so to me it wasn’t exercise. It was just something I loved that happened to have the added benefit of turning me into a well-toned machine.
Now the gym, on the other hand, was one of the lamest ways I have ever wasted money because I signed up for a year, went about five or six times, and then decided I hated it, never to return. I’m just not a gym person. MAYBE if I worked in an office building with a gym downstairs, it might work. But I just hated the whole commitment of having to go TO the gym, work out for an hour or so, and then come BACK from the gym. I didn’t feel engaged or motivated.
On top of that, I have several workout videos that have been collecting dust for YEARS. I have both Cindy Crawford workouts, one that (god is this embarrassing) Jennie Garth put out in the height of the original 90210 years (that girl had great legs!), and two yoga videos. Yeah, like I said, collecting dust.
And yet something compelled me to try the 30 Day Shred. People were so enthused about it. Everyone said that they hated Jillian with a passion and yet they loved her too because it was working. So I got it and tried it out.
Today was day 3 of 30 so I’m being cautiously optimistic – I know myself and my boredom levels (plus laziness) well enough to realize I may just shrug and say “ehh” in a few days. Working out every damn day is not necessarily appealing.
However! The workout is only 20 minutes (a bit longer with the warm-up and cool-down). Even I can’t find a good reason to be unable to find 20 minutes during the day. I can easily spend 20 minutes poking around Flickr or watching bad TV, why not this?
The good thing is that even though I woke up today with incredible muscle pain in my calves, I was actually eager to do my workout. I could barely wait for Breanna’s nap time so I could get busy shredding, pain and all. And then when I came out to find George watching a movie, I simply shrugged, grabbed my laptop, put the DVD in, and did my workout in the other room. That’s motivation.
I like the way she circuits through the 3-minute strength, 2-minute cardio, and 1-minute abs workouts through the 20 minutes. It keeps me hopping enough that I’m not bored yet, and after ten days you jump up to the next level (there are three). Right now I’m doing the modified version because damn, I am not able to keep up with the advanced moves yet, but that means that after my 30 days, I can start over and try those.
I have already uttered threats against Jillian at times when I feel like I just might want to keel over and die – they don’t “allow” breaks at all, she even says that if you must, you can stop to catch your breath for “no more than five seconds” but that’s it. It’s HARD. It’s so hard it’s unbelievable.
It’s possibly killing me, but let me tell you something – after three days I can already see results. Not massively huge results, but *I* can see them. That’s something impressive after a short time frame.
I’m not doing it to lose weight. I know that some people who know me or who have seen pictures will tell me I don’t need to lose weight but that’s not my motivation. For one thing, I have an extremely sedentary job, sitting here at my desk. I always have, but working from home means that my daily commute is, you know, down the hall. It’s easy to not move for a long time every day, unless using your fingers to type counts (it doesn’t do much for my heart rate, so I’m guessing no). Doing this workout gets me doing something fitness-oriented for 20 minutes every day. It’s also making me alert. Sure, I’m EXHAUSTED when I’m done, but my brain wakes right up.
Also, while I may have good numbers on the scale, I just want to, er, *tone* some stuff up. I told George that I am challenging myself to buy a bikini this summer. Last year I bought a two-piece suit but it’s a tankini so not much is visible in the middle. I want to buy and wear an honest-to-God bikini (maybe this is my mid-life crisis?) and the only way I will do that is if I have some ab definition. Considering the fact that after today’s workout I saw that there was a faint line at the top and sides of my abs, I can tell you right now that this works. It will kick your ass and when you do the punching routine you just might aim towards the TV so that you can pretend you’re punching Jillian RIGHT IN THE FACE, but it works.
Here’s hoping I can keep it up for the full 30 days. I have shopping to do.
Rapping flight attendant
I can’t tell you how badly I would love to be on one of these flights. That is so cool, and he was pretty good!
One on one time
On Saturday, life started out disappointing for Breanna. George had to leave fairly early in the morning for work and wasn’t expecting to be back until late afternoon. On top of that, Hayley had gone over to her grandparents’ house. Thus it was just the two of us. However, we made the best of it!
We played some Wii bowling, tennis, and golf together (she totally kicked my ass at golf, by the way, and I wasn’t even *trying* to let her win. She came in at 3 over par. I came in at 10 over par. I am ashamed.), then we ate some lunch together. I made tuna salad, turned it into a sandwich for her, and I ate the rest with crackers. What made it special for her was that I threw a sheet down on the floor and we had a picnic in the living room while she chattered my ears off.
When lunch was done, we were both restless and the weather was too beautiful to ignore. Those of you who are further south or perhaps out west may have found it chilly at 5 or 6C but it was positively balmy here. We got our coats and grabbed Pearl and went for a long walk – we were gone for about an hour and a half! Pearl certainly enjoyed that (and slept well that evening).
We walked through a wooded area for awhile, found good “walking sticks” to help us on our way, and strolled along a few streets. We crossed through a church lot that she loves and she spent some time showing me that it’s a shame we’re Anglican/Protestant since she would make such an excellent Catholic girl, what with her massive love of the Virgin Mary.
Of course there was one thing at the church that was even more fun that the statue – a puddle!
It amazes me that we have toys, really, because she was just so overjoyed with nothing more than a puddle full of muddy water, a stick to stir it with, and a few pebbles to occasionally throw into the mix. She spent a good 15 minutes just playing there – and she didn’t even get wet other than her hands, which is amazing.
After I finally pried her away from the puddle, she then moved on to the one thing that’s even more fun than the Virgin Mary statue AND a muddy puddle combined – jumping off the big rock in the church yard.
(Even better viewed larger!)
It was no wonder she fell asleep so quickly and painlessly that night, what with all the walking and then the jumping.
She wasn’t very interested in going back home but I had to get supper started and we were both hungry. Once we got back in, she was pretty happy to be handed a big cup of juice and some cheese and crackers while I got the oven going. She kept telling me the rest of the afternoon and evening that she had had so much fun, and it got even better when she got to clean off after supper with a big bubble bath and bath paints all by herself.
Before Breanna was born, I spent a ton of time with just Hayley – going for walks, letting her take a bath until the water turned cold, and just hanging out. Breanna didn’t get that as often. Now that Hayley’s in school, we do have mornings and the first two hours of the afternoon, but I’m also working at that time, so it’s not quite the same. Dropping all ideas of working on Saturday and spending the entire day just playing with her and seeing her enjoying herself was such a great thing to do and I’m glad Hayley and George were busy with their own fun (George WAS having fun, it was work, but it was music work, so at least he enjoyed it!) so that I could get some of that quiet alone time with Breanna.
We’ll have to make a date to do it again soon!
Art imitates life
This Foxtrot strip is hilarious yet true. If my kids were older I could certainly see this happening.
Nano car
This $2000 Nano car, slated to hit India soon, is really cool even though it might be scary to drive it beside 18-wheelers.
Here and then gone
After hearing about the death of actress Natasha Richardson after falling during a skiing lesson, I found myself saddened and shocked. I think the most stunning factor was that she didn’t take a horrible fall down a double-black diamond run, nor did she collide with a tree – she took what seemed to be a very simple tumble down the bunny hill. She was laughing and joking about it when she got back up and appeared to be fine. Then within the hour she was being rushed to the hospital with excruciating head pain, and before we knew it she was being announced as being brain dead. Tonight I read that they had taken her off life support and she had passed away.
Normally, celebrity deaths make me sad but then the day goes on. This one is haunting and I think it’s because it was just so abrupt. A long time ago, I had one of those deep philosophical discussions in college (in other words, a group of us had been doing tequila shots and decided to talk about heavy matters while inebriated) as to whether you’d rather have a lengthy illness and know you’re going to die or whether you’d rather die quickly.
I had always said quickly. I said I’d rather just die immediately in an accident or slip away in my sleep. I didn’t want to have to sit around and ponder my own mortality.
But that’s changed as I’ve gotten older. I’m only 34, I don’t feel like I’ve got one foot in the grave just yet, but I’m old enough that all kinds of things do indeed make me ponder that mortality. Having kids did that. Having more and more people in my life pass away did that. Experiencing the signs of aging – putting your back out for no good reason, having random aches and pains – have done that too.
Now I think I would really like to change my answer. While I don’t exactly hope for a long, painful illness that leaves me suffering for months, I would much rather know. I’d rather hear a doctor tell me I have X amount of weeks or months to live than just go on my merry little way only to be hit by a truck and killed instantly. In that time given to me by doctors I could get things in order, I could do the things that you always put off (and some would argue that you should do those things anyway, but that’s just the way life often is – you procrastinate because there are bills to pay or floors to mop), and most importantly I could find the time to say good-bye to the people that I love.
Natasha Richardson had a husband and two young sons, as well as a mother and siblings. Of course they all knew that she loved them, but given the choice, I’m sure that she would have preferred to be able to say it one more time, to actually say the words, “I love you” to them before leaving and with the incredible speed of her brain injury, there was no time for that. They apparently kept her on life support so that family could come and say goodbye to her but I’m willing to bet that she would have wished for time to say goodbye too.
I don’t even know where I’m going with this, just that it was sitting there in my head, nagging at me. This is the sort of thing where you want to go see everyone that you care about and tell them that – just in case.
I definitely change my mind on how I want to go. I want the time and I want to be able to squeeze as much into that time – whatever it may be – as I possibly can.
(Also, I realize that this is two posts in a row about death. I promise I’ll be more cheerful next post.)
God knows I love Twitter, but this is still really hilarious! “You’ve summoned the Fail Whale, you bastard!”
Remembering
This afternoon we got some bad news as we found out that a friend had passed away at the end of last week. His sister called because she was going through his phone to see who had called lately, not really knowing who she should contact, and George had just called last week.
Long time readers (really long time) probably remember that before I had kids I practically lived in local bars because George played guitar and sang in a band called “The T-Birds”. They did 50’s, 60’s and 70’s rock and roll with a bit of blues as well. Technically, the band was actually called “Billy Ray and the T-Birds”. Bill, the lead singer, is the one who passed away.
I can’t remember the last time I saw Bill in person, it’s been years, but I spoke to him on the phone a couple of months back. He was saying that he wanted to have the old group over to jam in his basement and that I was welcome to come along as I so often did. Unfortunately, it never happened and I never got to hear that one last night of live music with Bill at the helm.
Bill had a huge following of friends and fans on YouTube. He would play a music track on his computer and then record himself singing and people loved it. Tonight I was looking for some pictures and found this one, back in March of 2002 when they played at the legion, with Bill singing. That’s how I’ll always remember him, with a mic in front of him.
However, I couldn’t remember any of the gig dates, so I decided to type the band name into Google to see if any of the links led back to my own site and hopefully some photos. Instead, the first link I clicked was this one, which led me to a video he had done only two months ago. It struck me particularly because it was one of the songs that they always did in the band, and in the video he says some really nice things about George’s guitar talents – the track he uses is actually one that they did at practice one night.
I know that as I get older, it happens more and more often that you hear this kind of bad news about people that you knew, but it doesn’t make it any less of a shock or any less sad. Six months ago, he lost his wife, and I truly believe that he’s with her again. I hope that he’s at peace now, he deserves it.
Could it really almost be here?
This time last year we still had quite a lot of snow, and had even gotten a rather heavy snow storm, the kind that makes you want to just give up on your will to live.
Or maybe that’s just me being dramatic. But really, we got so much snow last year that it was ridiculous and I figured either I may as well move up north and enjoy the tundra because what difference would it make, or I’d better move south. Like Ecuador or something.
This year has been a really good winter in comparison. We had that crazy cold snap where it all but hurt to breathe outside and my hair turned white because it was just that cold, but we didn’t get as much heavy and constant snow. And now, here we are on the Ides of March (beware!) and dare I admit this out loud (so to speak)? It almost looks like SPRING is just around the corner.
Granted, yes, spring really IS just around the corner. On the calendar. But please, I live in Montreal. We don’t necessarily follow the calendar when it comes to our seasons. However, today George and I played the “Divide and Conquer” game where he took Hayley with him, and I took Breanna with me. For Breanna, that meant accompanying me on a nice long walk with Pearl.
Breanna was confused. “Where’s the snow?!” she asked as she plopped her snow-suit-free self down in a tiny remaining pile of snow of questionable cleanliness.
Hey, sorry kid. You’re asking the wrong person for sympathy. Begone, snow! Shoo!
She got over her mourning pretty quickly. As we got closer to home, she noticed some puddle and started picking up random tiny rocks and bits of gravel to throw in the puddles, one of her favorite pastimes. Then she spotted a fairly large puddle. Her eyes got a bit big, and she slowly tiptoed towards it, worried that I might stop her.
You know… So often I have to tell my kids not to splash in the puddles – usually it’s Hayley because she’s on her way to school. Today Breanna had nowhere to go but back home.
So I let her splash to her heart’s content for five minutes.
Let me tell you, it’s good for your soul.
What is good for the soul, too, is feeling like maybe, just maybe this winter stuff is done. Tuesday’s forecast is for 11C and that’s just crazy talk for the middle of March. It will be so nice to not have to bitch about the winter anymore.
(Please stay tuned for plenty of bitching about the ridiculous Montreal high humidity!)