Subject To Change

Construction Woes

Posted on November 22, 2011 by amanda

As much as adults don’t necessarily like having construction in their homes, at least we know why it’s happening, and that the end product is (hopefully) going to be worth it.

We’re having our main bathroom re-done. Our old tub started to leak downstairs when we ran the water, so it was time to have that replaced. The original fixtures were just that – original, and very ’70s. Yellow tub, yellow counter, yellow toilet. So we wanted to replace that stuff too, as well as the floor, so we figured we would just get it all done at one time. Neal installed the new countertop and sinks, but we’re having the rest done professionally.

And yes, it is annoying. Since the leaking started, we have had to use the shower downstairs, and since yesterday, we have to do downstairs to use the washroom as well. But then again, we also know how fortunate we are, because there are a lot of people who only have one bathroom, one shower. It’s also annoying to have someone in here, which means that to some extent, Claire and I are stuck here as well (I suppose we could go for a walk, but it’s bloody cold out), and as much as I don’t really like doing housework, I have realized that I do spend part of each day doing that. There’s no point in washing floors and whatnot since it would just be covered with dust anyway.

But it is going to be worth it in the end. We’re going to have a nice white tub and surround, a white dual-flush toilet, porcelain tiles, and of course the nice counter Neal has already put in.

Claire, on the other hand, doesn’t know what the hell is going on, what all the loud noise is about, who this strange man is, or why she is taking some of her naps in her playpen in the basement (her bedroom is right next to the bathroom, so there is no way she would be able to sleep in there!). And believe me, she has let me know that she does not like it at all.

Hopefully she will appreciate it someday!

Posted in Baby Talk, Reno's | Leave a comment

The Importance of Routine

Posted on November 21, 2011 by amanda

I discovered, on late-Saturday night/early-Sunday morning how important routine is, not only for Claire, but for me.

As I mentioned in my last blog post, I went to a Mother Blessing on Saturday, and had some henna done. It wraps around my arm in a vine-like way, then goes over the top of my hand and along my middle finger. You have to wait three or four hours before brushing it off, so I didn’t want to mess it up. That meant that when I got home, I was of very little use. Neal had to bath Claire and he had to put her to bed. I always put Claire to bed. Although I usually enjoy putting Claire to bed, I thought, at first, that it was nice to be able to come out and do other things.

Claire went to sleep, and Neal and I settled down to watch a movie (“Crazy, Stupid Love”). When it was over, we went to bed. Now, I had been TIRED while we were choosing a movie. I was almost tempted to decline watching a movie and instead just go to bed early, but I really enjoy our movie date nights.

But then, when I got into bed, after reading a few pages of my book and turning off my light, I was suddenly WIRED. I tossed and I turned. I got up and read a few more pages in the living room. I got back into bed and tossed and turned some more. We had plans for Sunday morning, so it wasn’t like I could just stay in bed a little later, and that, of course, did not help my sleep situation. I started to wonder if the fact that I hadn’t put Claire to bed was playing a role.

Normally, I groan a little bit when Claire wakes up in the middle of the night, but it was different this time. When she started to cry a little after 1 a.m., I told Neal that I would get up since I wasn’t sleeping anyway.

I changed her diaper, gave her a bottle, rocked her a little bit, laid her down in her crib, then climbed into my own bed and promptly fell asleep.

Apparently, putting Claire to bed has become part of my own bedtime routine, even now when there are a few hours between the time I put her to bed and the time I go to bed! That’s not to say that I don’t want Neal to ever put her to bed, but perhaps we won’t switch it up the night before we have a big social day planned!

Posted in Mommyhood, NaBloPoMo | 2 Comments

Busy Weekend

Posted on November 19, 2011 by amanda

Apparently I suck at this Nablopomo thing. Ah well, at least I’m updating more frequently, and really, that’s all I wanted.

Neal and I don’t often have socially busy weekends these days. We typically have errands to run and chores to do, and sadly those things often mean we don’t seek out the company of friends as much as we should. Life, afterall, is much too short to be mostly spent on errands and chores. Thankfully, we have a beautiful little girl to play with and who helps us to ‘keep it real’.

This weekend, however, is very socially busy, especially for me! A good friend of mine, Jessie, is expecting her first child in January, and she organized a “Mother Blessing”. Essentially it takes the place of a baby shower, and instead of bringing baby gifts, a bunch of women get together at the mommy-to-be’s house to cook up some meals to be frozen and then eaten when the baby arrives. It is such an incredibly good idea! When you’re going on little sleep and have this tiny, wholly dependent person to take care of, the last thing you really want to do is cook a meal! And yet, it’s so important to stay healthy as your body recovers, and particularly when you’re breastfeeding.

She also asked everyone to bring a bead that she is going to put on a necklace to wear during labour to remind her of all the strong women in her life. I also thought that this was a really beautiful idea. Labour is HARD, and you can use all the strength you can get!

Claire helped me pick out the bead. It had blues and mauves in it, with a black swirl painted on. I had a few different ones out at the store, and that was the one Claire kept going for.

I actually made my food contribution on Friday morning. It’s the No cream “creamy” broccoli soup that I absolutely love (it’s a little tweaked; I don’t put celery in because I never use the entire bunch you buy so it seems like a waste, and I use the box of prepared broth instead of the can).

I also had a henna tattoo done – it’s still drying and dyeing the skin, so I’ll probably get Neal to take a picture of it after I brush off the excess. I hope it’ll turn out – it got a little smudged on my finger, and some of it goes over my wrist and due to it moving, it got a little cracked. Sooooo, it could look terrible. Whatever – it only cost 10 bucks and it’s not like I have to go to work or anything.

I left Claire home with Neal since she usually naps in the afternoon. Even if I had been planning to take her with me, I would have changed my mind because she was NOT in a good mood at all before I left. It was strange to be out with friends without her – although I had a really good time this afternoon, I was quite anxious to get home!

The lawyer I work with, Nick, invited Neal, Claire and I over to have brunch with him and his family tomorrow morning. Then we’re going to come home and let Claire have a nap, and then go over to Sherry’s to celebrate Breanna’s birthday.

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Little Foodie

Posted on November 17, 2011 by amanda

We have seen such a difference in how Claire reacts to food since we first tried her with some at five months. At first, we only gave her plain cereal which tasted pretty much like her formula but with a different texture, but then we started adding some pureed food to the cereal to give it some extra flavour. At first, she didn’t eat much. She would take a little bit, then would grow bored and refuse to open her mouth for the spoon despite the myriad train, car and horse sounds I would make to entice her. Most of the time, she was still hungry, but instead of having to work for the food, she just wanted to lounge on my lap and drink from her bottle.

She also wasn’t a big fan of some of the pureed food we first gave her. In particular, she didn’t really like the applesauce or pureed banana (for some reason, there was lemon juice in the banana – weird). When we tried her with squash, however, things started to look up! For awhile, we focused more on veggies because she seemed to like them better. But now I have found that she likes other fruits, such as apples and blueberries, apples and apricots, banana and mango, etc.

Now, she knows to open her mouth wide when she feels the spoon against her lower lip, and she even leans forward sometimes when she’s really hungry! There are times when she’s even too eager! We don’t have a special bowl for Claire; we have white Cornelle dishes that don’t break and we just use those for her food. We also use them for soups and frozen yogurt. The other night, Neal and I sat down at the table with our frozen yogurt and Claire started to FREAK.OUT when Neal started to eat his, thinking he was eating her food! Maybe we’ll have to buy her some dishes of her own…

I keep thinking about making my own food. A lot of mothers I know do, but honestly, she just doesn’t eat enough right now for me to get out the blender to do it (I don’t have a food processor). Soon enough, she’ll be eating non-pureed food, and then she can eat whatever we’re having, but for now, the jars are just easier. Luckily, the grocery store we go to (Atlantic Superstore) carries organic baby food under their own brand that cost the same as the non-organic. I check the ingredients listed on the label, and only buy those that have the food you want. For instance, I think they carry a “blueberry dessert”, which I’m sure Claire would love, but I won’t buy it because it has sugar. Um, no, she gets enough natural sugars in the fruit she eats. And the other thing that’s nice is that when it’s the applesauce, they use organic apples, not the ones chock-full of pesticides.

Am I taking the easier way out? Yes. Do I sometimes feel guilty for not taking the time to make my own food for her? Yes. But then I remember that that’s time I spend with her when she’s awake and yes, taking time for myself when she’s napping.

Posted in Baby Talk, Guilt trips, Mommyhood, NaBloPoMo | 1 Comment

Overcoming Fears

Posted on November 15, 2011 by amanda

I’m drawing a blank when trying to come up with a topic to write about, so I thought I would use one of the earlier prompts from NaBloPoMo. This one asks if you have overcome any fears.

I guess you could say that in some respects, I am a fearful person insofar as I worry. A lot. I also have my fair share of phobias, the biggest of which is arachnophobia. I have never gotten over my fear of spiders, or anything that crawls, really. I have had to deal with critters from time to time since Neal sometimes goes away with the military, but I only deal with them under necessity. If he’s home, I call him in a shrill voice, telling him to “BRING PAPER TOWEL!”

I have also never gotten over my fear of heights. I’ve tried, such as the first Friday after moving in with Neal. I was on the bus coming home when it got stuck in a huge amount of traffic due to an accident on the bridge – the bridge I needed to get over. A bunch of people got off at the stop right before the bridge to walk across on the sidewalk. It seemed like a great idea – at least then I would be on the Dartmouth side and could grab another bus to get home or I could call Neal to come pick me up at the bus terminal on the other side.

That ceased to feel like a good idea as I got partway on the bridge. Suddenly the water seemed VEEEEERRRRRYYYY far away, and the gap between the walkway and the fence seemed HUGE (it wasn’t; there was absolutely no chance that I would slip through). No amount of rational thought helped. But, as many people who suffer from anxiety will know only too well, I was also afraid of how foolish I would look if I suddenly turned around and went back to the Halifax side, despite the fact that it was so much closer. And so, I just kept going. It was the first and only time I ever crossed the bridge. Yikes.

But there are other fears that I have conquered. The most significant has been well-documented here: my move to Halifax. Those fears paralyzed me for almost a year before I finally bit the bullet and came here. Whenever I think about how very different my life would probably be if I hadn’t come (I would not have Neal or Claire in my life, and I’d probably still be a smoker, yuck), I am incredibly grateful for taking the chance.

There are some smaller ones as well. I have occasionally felt the bubbling up of panic when I have driven across the bridge, particularly if stuck in traffic. But I have swallowed that fear, pushed it down and given it a big “Hell, NO!” and now I can usually drive across without any issues.

There is also the issue of very dark highways around here. Seriously – I think Nova Scotia is trying to save money on the power bill by not putting highway lamps on a bunch of frequently-used highways around here. A couple of years ago, I went to Walmart at Dartmouth Crossing by myself to pick up a few things. By the time I started back home, night had fallen and the highway was pitch-black. I had some cars behind me, but no one in front of me. It took everything I had not to pull off to the shoulder; it was the thought that I would never be able to pull back out if I did. So I pushed myself, and I got home without any mishap. I have forced myself to drive on dark highways, both with Neal and on my own, and now I can do it without thinking about it.

Overcoming fears is absolutely empowering. My fear of spiders doesn’t really bother me too much, so I haven’t worked at overcoming it. Even my fear of heights doesn’t seem like such a huge deal to me, although I’m sure it will keep me from doing some fun things at some point. But since I live in Dartmouth and work in Halifax, I need to be able to drive over the bridge. Dark highways surround me, and I refuse to have my actions dictated by the setting of the sun.

Posted in Fears, NaBloPoMo | 3 Comments

In Pain

Posted on November 14, 2011 by amanda

This isn’t the entry I thought I would be posting here today. Similar subject, but completely different mood.

Sometime at the end of July or early August, I started to experience muscle and joint pain and stiffness. At first, I didn’t really think too much about it. I thought I had pulled a muscle or I had done too much the day before or something. Or maybe it was because I was carrying around a rather big girl all day. But then I started to notice it was lingering, and that some days it was really bad. In particular, my hands and feet would be stiff and sore first thing in the morning and after sitting for awhile. Are you starting to think the same thing that started to worry me? I told my doctor at one point when I went to see her and she expressed some concern that it could be rheumatoid arthritis and asked if it runs in my family.

A second-cousin of mine, Maureen, had RA from a fairly young age. Panic ensued.

My doctor first wanted me to take Naproxen for two weeks to see if it would help. I took it for a few days and for one thing, it didn’t make me feel better and was not being very nice to my stomach. She had told me that if it didn’t work, to go for bloodwork and gave me the requisition. I decided to stop the Naproxen and just for the damn tests so I could stop worrying.

After waiting almost a week, I spoke to my doctor’s secretary. She said that the only thing noted on my file was that my thyroid level seemed to be a little low and there was nothing about RA. I felt pretty confident that that meant I didn’t have rheumatoid arthritis. I looked up hypothyroidism and saw not only that muscle and joint pain are symptoms, but other things that I had chalked up to being a new parent, such as fatigue (despite the fact that my child usually sleeps through the night). It’s really hard to get in to see my doctor, so I just kept the appointment I had for Claire to get her second flu shot.

That was today. Suffice it to say that I was REALLY looking forward to this appointment. I figured that a little pill would be prescribed to me that would regulate my thyroid and I would start to feel better and more like a 31-year-old and less like a 90-year-old.

First of all, I had a call from the clinic to say that my doctor had been called away to deliver a baby. I explained that I really wanted to discuss my test results and that Claire needed to have her second shot. They put me in with a different doctor at a slightly different time. We were taken in pretty much right away, but it wasn’t the news I was hoping for.

The doctor said that what was tested is the hormone issued by the pituitary gland in the brain (TSH) which is supposed to prompt the thyroid gland to secrete its hormone. She said that the TSH level is usually low when the thyroid is actually over-active, not under-active. She also said that muscle and joint pain is not a symptom of hyperthyroidism. She said that i would have to go for ANOTHER blood test to test my actual thyroid (I kept wondering why this couldn’t have been tested before!). I asked her if she had any ideas as to what could be causing my pain, and she said that she really didn’t know, but that although I tested negative for rheumatoid arthritis, it still could be the culprit (WTF?).

So. No pill to make me feel better. Panic over the possibility that this is rheumatoid arthritis has returned.

Suffice it to say that as long as it’s not raining tomorrow, Claire and I will be walking over to the nearby pharmacy to get my blood test done.

Posted in Fears, NaBloPoMo | 6 Comments

The Weekend

Posted on November 13, 2011 by amanda

So… I didn’t post anything yesterday, which means that if they’re still giving out prizes at NaBloPoMo, I have been disqualified. Whatever – that’s not why I’m taking part, and we had company this weekend, so I don’t feel bad at all for not posting anything.

Post-tropical storm be-damned, my in-laws drove down from New Brunswick on Friday. They have come down every long weekend since Claire was born, except for one when we drove up there. They really are incredible people, and I’m not just saying that because they may or may not read this. I honestly could not be luckier when it comes to in-laws!

The weekend was fairly quiet. We all just hung out on Friday. I made homemade pizza and served that with salad, they played with Claire, and we watched some television. Saturday was pretty quiet as well; we all slept in (including Claire!), and in the afternoon, we went out to the shops at Dartmouth Crossing. We didn’t buy anything other than some teas/coffees, but it was nice to do some window shopping. We had teriyaki burgers and Cajun-spiced potatoes for supper. Claire wasn’t the most cooperative with going to sleep, possibly because she was overtired – she only slept for half-an-hour during her late-morning nap, and then refused to nap later when we got home. She did fall asleep fairly easily when I first went in with her, but then she woke up and proceeded to scream her discontent for all to hear. She did eventually fall asleep, and although it felt like forever to us, it wasn’t really too long before her exhaustion finally caught up with her.

We slept in and just puttered around today until a little after noon when Carl and Cathy left to go home. I ran some errands at Walmart and the grocery store, made shepherd’s pie for supper, put Claire to bed, and then watched “Once Upon a Time” and “The Amazing Race” (Good riddance Laurence!).

Now it’s bedtime, so I will leave you with some photos from the weekend.

All snuggled up as she wakes from her nap

Reading with Nanny and Grampy

Playing with Grampy on Saturday morning

Taken by Neal

Posted in Family, NaBloPoMo | 2 Comments

Remembrance Day

Posted on November 11, 2011 by amanda

I have always observed Remembrance Day, in one way or another. In Sunday school, we would go to the cenotaph on the Sunday closest to November 11th. In Quebec, November 11th is not a holiday except for banks. It’s something I feel very strongly about – it should be a holiday for all provinces in Canada. Yes, it’s true that there are people who would not observe the day, but would use it as a day to sleep in, or in cases such as this year when it makes a long weekend, to go away. But I have gone to many ceremonies here in Nova Scotia, where it is a holiday, and I have seen a huge crowd of people.

Remembrance Day was always meaningful because one of my grandfathers took part in World War II. Thank goodness, he came home alive, but I was always made aware that many did not. The day took on even more meaning once Neal and I got together. I am now the wife of someone in the Canadian military, and so this day has taken on an even more sombre feel.

Unfortunately, Claire and I were not able to go to a ceremony this year. There is a huge storm going on – I heard somewhere that it’s from a tropical storm, but I haven’t heard confirmation of it. If it was just me, I would go; Neal and I went to see Hopewell Rocks in New Brunswick a few years ago during a tropical storm, so I think I could pay my respects in one. But I was not going to bring Claire out to get soaking wet. Neal has gone, and I’m sure he’ll be grateful to get into dry clothes when he gets home.

And yet, even though I know I’m at home for a good reason, and I observed my moment of silence, and I have CBC on to watch the Remembrance Day coverage, I don’t feel right about being at home.

Posted in Family, NaBloPoMo | 1 Comment

Baby’s First Books

Posted on November 10, 2011 by amanda

I’m feeling better, thank goodness. I actually felt remarkably better once I got up yesterday and had some breakfast, so it seems that it was a short-lived bug. I still took it really easy. Neal had reserved a book at the library, so Claire and I went to pick it up, but the library is only a 5-minute walk away. Other than that, she and I just hung out, and I had a nap when she had hers, and we spent the afternoon watching “The Lion King”. I felt really awful at 4:30 in the morning, but if it’s that short-lived then I guess it’s not too bad.

As it’s Thursday, Claire and I will be going to “Baby’s First Books” at the library. I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned that here, but I really enjoy it. It’s a free program put on by the library for babies up to 18 months. The woman reads kids’ books and we sing songs, bouncing our babies and whatnot. Claire really seems to enjoy it; she sits and really pays attention to the woman when she’s reading. I also really enjoy it because it’s a way for me to get out with other moms. It starts at 10:30, and we’re usually finished with the reading and singing by about 11, but we’re allowed to stay and hang out for a bit if we want. Some moms leave pretty much right away, but there are a few of us who always stay behind and chat.

Unfortunately, the woman who runs the program at our library told us last week that this is the last time they’re having it because they didn’t get the attendance they wanted. There will be another program starting after Christmas for babies up to 36 months, but as she pointed out, there is a huge difference between a baby and a 3-year-old. I’ll check it out anyway; if it’s awful, I’ll stop going, but hopefully it won’t be too bad.

To finish off, this is what Claire is up to these days:

* She isn’t crawling yet, but I suspect that she is scooting a little bit. I say “suspect” because she never does it when anyone is looking, but she will be in a slightly different place than where I left her when I look into the living room.

* She doesn’t seem to be as interested in her bottle and formula as she usually is. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t mildly concerned, but I’m going to give it a few more days. For one thing, she is teething, and I read that babies sometimes have a decreased appetite when they’re teething. For another, she is still drinking something like 26 oz or so a day, so it’s not like she’s starving. Her mood is still really good, and she’s not lethargic at all. She does seem to be quite interested in her other food, which consists of oat cereal, some formula, and some kind of vegetable or fruit mixed together. It is quite the reversal from when we first started to give her solids and she really preferred to lie back and drink her formula to being fed by a spoon.

* Speaking of teething, have I mentioned that one of her bottom teeth has poked through? It’s a sharp little sucker! I don’t offer my finger for her to chew on quite as often anymore!

* There are some vegetables she prefers to others, but we have not given her a single vegetable she hasn’t eaten. I definitely hope this continues! Her favourites: green beans and squash.

* Her personality is starting to emerge more and more. She absolutely LOVES a stuffed animal pig that my neighbour had put on top of the diaper cake for my baby shower. I make the pig dance in front of her and she squeals and laughs, and then freaks out when I stop.

* Her laugh is still the best sound I have ever heard. I don’t think the novelty will ever wear off.

And finally, some pictures: