This morning, I bent to pick Breanna up to lift her over something that was in her way. I do it all the time. Today, I did it in an awkward movement and as I swung her over the obstacle, something in my back – just under my left shoulder blade – snapped. If I was a cartoon you would have heard a “sproing!” noise. It hurt but not so badly that I couldn’t move. I was whimpering about it but still walking around so I figured it was okay.

Since George was home I asked him to make the coffee so I could just sit at my desk and try to recuperate for a minute but shortly after that Breanna walked over to me and mumbled while shoving her fingers into her throat, which is how she tells me she would like me to put some food in there. In hindsight this was incredibly stupid, but rather than alerting George that she was hungry and asking for help I decided I could lift her into her high chair if I was careful and bent my knees. After all, it hurt but not in an incapacitating way.

Right. I got her half way up and my back went into a spasm. I have never reacted to pain so instantly, not even in labor; I nearly dropped her, got her back to the floor, and everything in my vision started to turn brown. I told George I thought I might faint and that I felt like I might even throw up, and he immediately sent me to bed and took care of everyone else.

I’m amazed I didn’t actually pass out on my way down the hall but I managed to lurch and shuffle my way to the bedroom and I collapsed – carefully – onto the bed with a plastic bin cradled in my arms because I was so positive that I really would throw up. I’m so glad I didn’t because I was so terrified that if I did it would cause more back spasms.

I never managed to fall asleep but I did lie there, curled up in a position that didn’t hurt too badly, and I sort of dozed a little. I also managed to lift my head up enough to take the Advil that George brought in for me. At 11:30 I was finally able to carefully drag myself out to have some coffee and breakfast.

I haven’t picked anyone up for the rest of the day. I couldn’t imagine putting Breanna into the crib tonight because my back couldn’t have handled it so at bedtime I just coaxed her up onto the bed and she’s sleeping there; even if I could lift her up I know my back couldn’t deal with lowering her over the side and onto the mattress. I’m just glad she went to sleep easily.

George did a great job of letting me relax and did all the dishes (twice!), picked up the living room, and picked up Breanna any time she needed to get into her high chair or just wanted to be held. I was so lucky he was here today or I would have been royally screwed. All I had to do was take a hot shower to further soothe my back, and I made supper which was no big feat since we just had grilled cheese, tomato soup, and fries (note to self – make more tomato soup, Breanna loves it). I even managed to wash the dishes up quickly afterwards because I had gotten a chance to really rest my back most of the day.

It still hurts now but two more Advils are taking the edge off and even though it’s not technically helping in any medicinal way, the Earl Grey tea and cereal I’m snacking on are comforting too. I think I’ll go see if watching “Blood Diamond” is therapeutic as well.