Is it really asking too much to hope that if I’m going to have a craving that it could be for something I actually have in the pantry or the fridge? Craving a chocolate bar or a piece of cheesecake when I have neither sucks.

And for what it’s worth, eating cheddar cheese does not compensate for a lack of cheesecake.

New picture of my huge basketball-like stomach.

I’m trying to find an entry last year that references something in particular – a walk that the three of us took through the woods. I know it was in the fall season because I have the pictures and all the leaves are in the process of changing, so I figured I should start by looking through the October entries.

The first entry I got to was last year’s Thanksgiving recap and in it are a ton of pictures of my grandmother’s house and I started crying because I know that it’s gone now.

My mother told me that for Christmas what she would like the most is a little photo album with all the pictures that I took of the house the last time I was there. Hopefully by the time I need to print them it won’t be so hard to look at the reminders of what’s gone.

Hayley’s in the bathroom right now (“I like to have some privacy!”) and I always leave the door open so she can call me when she’s finished. Right now I can hear her counting and she just said, “5, 4, 3, 2, 1”.

When the hell did she learn to count backwards?! Maybe it’s from “Toy Story” when Sid is counting down to blow Buzz up.

New entry up in the journal.

A cool thing about being this pregnant (36 weeks, woot)?

I’m here at my desk and I have a bowl of applesauce sitting on my stomach. It’s just sitting there like my stomach is a shelf or a table. It’s really quite handy.

Of course, if the baby starts kicking (ooh, there she goes, speak of the devil!) I may regret this if the bowl goes flying onto the floor.

Dear Baby In My Uterus,

Even though we haven’t formally met yet, I already love you more than I can say and I’m sure you can feel that. I can’t wait to meet you sometime between today and five weeks from now.

That said, I have to say one thing. Unless you’re actually on your way down the birth canal and out into this crazy world, for the love of GOD please stop bouncing your big head repeatedly against my cervix. Please. I can’t take it anymore.

Thank you for your co-operation.

Love,
Mommy

I was so scared when I woke up this morning because something was really wrong outside.

Then I realized it was just the sun shining in the sky.

Thank god, because for a second, after all the dark, grey, rainy skies over the past week and a half, that much brightness made me think maybe something was on fire out there. I don’t even care that it’s only 2 degrees. It’s sunny!

The house is gone. It was demolished yesterday. It was built in a time where they took a damn long time to build a house so that it was strong and done right. It took them one hour to rip it all down.

I don’t know whether I feel like crying or throwing up or alternating between both.

When are people going to realize that women do not have breasts so that they can work at Hooters, sell cars, or market beer? When are they going to realize that women have breasts primarily so that they can attempt to feed and sustain their children? It’s what they’re THERE for, and yet people still freak out at the thought of them being used for their natural purpose, causing hysteria like a news magazine pulling breastfeeding cover and firing the editor.

Why is it that we can’t have a magazine with something as natural as breastfeeding on the front but it’s perfectly okay to display entertainment magazines with celebrities flaunting their surgery-enhanced cleavage in extremely low-cut clothes? I can see beer commercials on television with busty women skipping around with beer bottles but a magazine with a breastfeeding cover (for Breastfeeding Week, by the way) is offensive?

I am so disgusted.