On Friday, George and I took the girls over to his parents’ house in the afternoon and we drove up north to my grandmother’s place. My aunt and uncle had been there for a week, packing things up in her apartment because it was being rented out for the beginning of February. They had sorted through and either thrown out anything not worth keeping or donated a lot of things to the church. They also set out anything that we had all expressed an interest in having.

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Another place I could submit some writing.

Did you see the video for “Sometimes”that George and his friend did? It’s not too late if you missed it!

I’m loving two new-to-me cooking blogs, Smitten Kitchen and Matt Bites. Both make me really hungry.

This site has an amazing amount of useful information for playing around with digital photos. I’m particularly interested in trying these four tips on some of my pictures.

I’m disappointed that I missed the segment on the Today Show where Meredith Vieira and blogger Melissa Summers discussed the hooplah over mothers drinking responsibly in the presence of their kids. Luckily, this is 2007 and just because you miss something the first time around doesn’t mean that you missed it completely; you can view the video of the segment right here: Do playdates and happy hour mix?

I am shocked (though perhaps I shouldn’t be shocked by anything anymore) by the backlash. I’m also heavily disappointed that Meredith is apparently a moron and compares a mother to a babysitter.

I’m sure it goes without saying, but for the official record, I see nothing wrong with having a drink or two while your kids are around.

GASP! CLEARLY I AM AN ALCOHOLIC! Someone please call Betty Ford, I’m too drunk to dial the phone myself. Also, has anyone seen my kids?

Seriously. It’s a bit over-dramatic. No one has said that they think it’s okay to get shit-faced, falling down drunk in front of their kids. No one has said they don’t have a problem with drinking heavily with a child on their lap and then being unable to function the next morning because of the unbearable hangover. And no one has said they went all Bree Van De Kamp and drank so much Chardonnay that they passed out while the kids went frolicking alone through the neighborhood.

We’re talking about responsibly ingesting a glass of wine or a beer or a cocktail. It’s not a frat house beer bong party, it’s being an adult and enjoying a glass of something stronger than water. People who are criticizing have said things like “I just don’t see why a mom NEEDS to have a drink”. Well, you know what? I also don’t NEED to eat chocolate, eat potato chips, shower daily, or put makeup on when I leave the house; however, I do ENJOY these things and the same goes for a glass of wine while hanging out with other mom friends while the kids play together.

People also worry about the example that this sets, as though it’s a message saying, “I can’t enjoy myself or celebrate anything if I don’t have a cocktail in my hand!” I think that’s ridiculous. That implies that we don’t have fun at any other time if we aren’t at a playdate or gathering. I have fun with my kids when we play with toys. I have fun with them when we do crafts. I have fun when we go to the park and play with other kids and mothers there. I don’t carry a flask in my hip pocket, so I’m doing all these fun things without the aid of alcohol. I don’t think that having some wine with my adult friends while the kids run around the back yard or play in the basement overrides the other fun times.

Also, I think it’s a good opportunity to demonstrate responsibility. Because we DON’T get drunk and pass out face-down in a pile of MegaBloks, we show our kids that an adult can have a glass of wine or two and behave appropriately. Growing up, I often saw my parents having some sort of alcoholic beverage, whether it was a glass of wine before dinner, a glass of wine AT dinner, or a rum and coke in the evening. They weren’t plastered and dancing on the furniture, they were grown-ups enjoying a drink and still acting exactly the same way that they did if they weren’t.

Did I go off to college and get really hammered? Yes, on (far too) many occasions. Was this because of my parents? Certainly not. Had I been influenced solely by them, I would have been limiting myself to one or two drinks. I was influenced by all the other college kids. Once I got through that stupid phase in my life (and it didn’t take long because the side effects that hit the next morning weren’t very enjoyable and got old really quickly), I became more responsible and acted like – imagine! – an adult.

I think it all just comes down to one thing – everyone wants to judge mothers in some way. Mothers are constantly vilified for one thing or another. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the way we choose to deal with our child’s sleep, the discipline methods we use, the way we diaper, the age we potty train, or apparently the contents of our glass, as long as there’s something that can be used to judge what a totally horrible mother we are. Mothers can never win. If someone saw the current explosion of crap in Hayley’s room right now they would judge me for being a terrible example by not keeping it more orderly and teaching Hayley better than that. On the flip side, Heather got an email where someone ridiculed her for how clean and tidy her daughter’s room is. It’s insane, isn’t it? But it’s the way it is, and so of course people are going to point fingers and cluck their tongues if a mother (who should apparently be a total robot and never do anything for herself in any way, no matter what that is) decides to pour a glass of red wine and actually drink it while the kids are looking.

Perhaps the most interesting – or depressing, really – factor is that apparently there is nothing wrong with a father cracking open a beer and enjoying a football game or what have you while his kids hop around him. Somehow, if you have testicles, you are allowed to enjoy an alcoholic beverage while in the presence of your children. Mothers? No. Absolutely not.

This topic gets me so riled up that I think I’ll go have a beer.

Where do you stand on the issue? Be honest. If you think there’s something wrong with it, I want to know and I want to know why because I’m curious about this whole debate.

I remember when Friday night used to mean the weekend was here and my friends and I would go hang out at the local goth bar and dance until closing time. Then I met George and Friday night meant hanging out in a little pub watching his band play and dancing on occasion to the songs they did.

Now Friday night means some pate on crackers and a couple of glasses of red wine while searching for music videos on YouTube, apparently.

Anyway. I’ve always been a completely non-apologetic country music fan. Back in 1999, my favorite, Garth Brooks came to Montreal. This is pretty unusual because Montreal doesn’t get very many country concerts, much to my disappointment. I had absolutely zero friends who wanted to go; my parents would have gone but I could only afford one ticket. In the end, I reserved via credit card over the phone and decided to go alone. When I got there, they were able to offer me a better ticket since I was alone (“would you like a better seat?” “no, give me a seat even further back, behind a pillar… YES give me a good seat!”).

I ended up being close enough to the stage, on the same level as the stage itself (something like row Q in the reds, right there), that I nearly died a little on the inside. I had brought binoculars and when I sat in my new seats, I felt like a total stalker with them because had I used them, I’m sure I could have seen up Garth’s nose.

To date, despite all the concerts I’ve seen, that show was the absolute best one I ever saw. Ever. And when I see how animated he was live, I remember why I felt that way.

He is incredibly exciting live. He’s crazy. I hope so much that he gets his ass back in the studio some day, records something new, goes on tour, and then comes back. I love country music overall, but I still love Garth best.

What was your favorite concert?

(Amanda should beware reading this while at work and should have tissues handy.)

Ever since my grandmother passed away on December 20th, I’ve been sad about it and I miss her. At the same time though, I know that her quality of life wasn’t as great as it once had been. I still remember that back when she was in her 80s she would still go up to the second floor of her house, open the windows on the landing and crawl out on to the roof to shovel the snow off. She only stopped when people started threatening to tell my uncle what she was doing because we were all horrified at the thought of her out on that slippery roof (thank god it wasn’t too steep at least!), pushing snow over the side like it was no big deal. To go from that kind of autonomy and a home of her own to living in a nursing home where she couldn’t always remember things, was a big change.

I’m also old enough to know that it’s sad for all of us who are still alive because we miss her but that it’s not as sad from her side of things because at 92 years old, she had lived a very full life. She had seen incredible changes in the world, both her own world and the larger one around her. On top of that, though the suddenness of her passing was hard to bear because we didn’t get a chance to say goodbye, I know that it meant she didn’t suffer from a long illness. In fact, on December 19th she had gone out for lunch with some cousins. She had a great lunch, was alert and happy, and they gave her a gliding rocker to put in her room. She was thrilled with the new chair and when my mother called her that evening, she was sitting in it to watch her hockey game and was quite enthused about it all. Knowing she had a wonderful last day in her life makes it easier for me.

All of that is lost on a four year old who understands just enough to know that death is final but not enough to grasp the smaller details like I did.

Hayley is an incredibly sensitive child and she has taken the loss of my grandmother – her “Aggie” – very, very hard. She still cries a lot about it, more than even I did. She talks about her a lot, wants to remember stories and the house she lived in, and she asks a lot of questions about why she had to die, where she is, and what it’s like there. The questions have been hard on me, not because they make me sad but because they pushed me to examine my own faith and beliefs and I’m not sure of the answers, but I do the best that I can. Still, she gets very sad about it. The other night she had dinner at George’s parents’ house and his mom told me completely out of the blue, Hayley broke down into heaving sobs, crying that she missed Aggie. It’s heartbreaking.

Hayley knows that George gets paid on Friday so she usually asks him for something on Thursday night or on Friday morning. He usually gets what she asks for because it’s never anything big. Sometimes it’s a candy treat, other times it’s something from the Dollar Store. Last week she asked for a pair of binoculars (“binocliers” she would say) from there, and she asked if he could find her an “Aggie Doll”. He said he’d try but he came home with a little girl doll instead for the time being because they didn’t have anything suitable.

Most kids want Barbies or those hideous Bratz, or little babies. There isn’t exactly a huge market for senior citizen dolls. I’m sure you could find some if you looked hard enough but I didn’t think we’d have much luck finding something that could pass for an Aggie Doll.

So cue the Internet, and Google, and a pattern for dolls made from a pair of socks. Friday night I should have gone to bed early since we were having the party on Saturday, or I could have done some quiet cleaning while the kids were sleeping. Instead, I got a pair of George’s socks, ripped apart a ruined throw pillow for stuffing, and threaded my needles. I stayed up until after 1 am, sewing up the body for the doll. With the addition of some blue buttons for eyes, a beige button for a nose, red yarn for a mouth, white yarn for hair, and a few clothes, by yesterday it was finally done.

The pants are actually a pair of purple baby tights that Breanna outgrew, with the feet cut off and a few stitches in the back to make them fit. The sweater comes from a bear that my sister bought for Hayley; she loves the bear but always took the sweater off, and it was just the right size. The socks are also outgrown baby socks.

I’ve never really done any sewing. I can mend a ripped seam, though my stitches are messy and I can sew a button onto something, but beyond that, the last time I sewed anything was when I was 14 years old in high school Home Economics class. All things considered, I’m proud of the job I did. It’s not perfect but it’s a first attempt. And Hayley loves it.

Maybe it will help her a little to have her very own handmade Aggie Doll. I hope so.

It’s pretty unusual for me to go so long without posting. I guess I just got busy. On Saturday we had a potluck appetizer party to celebrate Breanna’s birthday. Due to a lot of different reasons, we never had a party for her back in November and I really didn’t like that so even though it was two months late, we went ahead with it. Luckily things weren’t getting started until 5 or 5:30 so that gave me a chance to get everything ready throughout the day (including baking the cake TWICE because the first time the damn cat got up on the table and ATE the first one that was cooling; it is a miracle that we still have her after that).

We ended up being short several people. My parents couldn’t be here because of car issues. Also, a grand total of six people had to cancel because of a gastro virus, and two others couldn’t make it because of other obligations. However, it ended up being a nice intimate party. Of course, we had a metric ton of food leftover, but that’s okay because then you don’t have to wonder what to eat for the next few days. Also, June sat down on the couch, looked around the living room that is usually crowded full of kids and extra chairs and said, “I never realized how huge your living room is!”

Breanna enjoyed the party very much. I think it ended up working out well because when she was just turning one, she was still a little leery of other people. Right now she’s in a phase where she’s extremely social, smiling and chatting to everyone, so she had a great time. She really enjoyed the cake too.

I put up a photoset of the party over on Flickr if you’d like to see all the pictures.

Beyond that, I’ve just been busy with different things. I spent a lot of Sunday cleaning up because I’ll be damned if I’m going to bust my ass cleaning up the apartment for a party only to let it stay messy the very next day. On both Sunday night and Monday night, Breanna fell asleep for about half an hour and then woke up refusing to go back to bed so those evenings were totally shot. Last night she finally went to bed and slept for over two hours before waking up for a quick fill-up and then she went back to bed. Thank GOD. It was nice because I wanted to watch a movie that was on TV (“In God’s Country” which was really good but a little horrifying) and I was glad to get a chance to just sit down with a glass of wine and some of the leftover snack food and just watch it.

Hopefully I’ll be back on track now with my posting. It was weird to go that long without popping in here.

I’m making this. It’s my first real sewing attempt since grade 9 home ec class but it’s not coming out too bad at all! Now I really want a sewing machine.