All the Christmas eve and Christmas day photos are up over here and hopefully tomorrow I can get the photos up from my family’s visit on the 26th.

Please let me know if the background color in the album makes it too hard to read the captions. I was trying to find a nice Christmas-y color but I want people to be able to read everything.

A belated Merry Christmas or other holiday of your choosing from our family to yours. It was wonderful and hopefully I can get a moment to write about it some evening.

Today we did our Christmas shopping, because frankly there’s nothing like the adrenaline of rushing to get everything two days before the big day. Yeah. That’s the reason! Ahem.

Anyway, it went really well and we got everything we needed in about three hours or so (we’re efficient shoppers) except for one thing – we really wanted a cowboy hat for Hayley and you would think such a thing would be easy to find, but no. The only thing that seems to exist these days in the world of dressup is princess wear. We did, of course, buy her a princess dress but George is going to try one more place tomorrow for a hat because she would enjoy wearing that while riding on her rocking horse.

It was strange to look around at other people while I was out, namely other people of the female persuasion. Everywhere I looked I saw teenage girls, young women, and people my age who looked fantastic. Everyone seemed to be wearing slim fitting jeans or pants, stylish cropped tops and funky jackets, their hair would be styled, makeup was perfect, and they all appeared to my sleep-deprived eyes to have just strolled out of fashion magazines.

Then I mentally scrutinized myself and realized I was wearing denim trackpants because they’re one of the only two pairs of pants that fit me that can be worn outside the home (I could also wear my kung fu pants but they’re not quite right for Canadian winters when you’re oot and aboot), a blue t-shirt that barely fits over my lactating hooters, and a purple zip-up sweater that had been spit up on five minutes before leaving home and which I wore anyway because I didn’t have anything else suitable to wear that was clean anyway. I was happy that I at least had remembered to brush my hair and teeth, and I had even put my contacts in and thrown some makeup on. Still, I looked nothing like these fashion plates roaming the stores in their perfect outfits.

I mentioned this to George and said I had to keep reminding myself that I just had a baby a month ago and so of course my appearance isn’t exactly top priority as long as I’m decent and reasonably hygienic. He pointed out that I’m a new (again) mother and it doesn’t matter and after all, I’m supporting a little life with my very body so I shouldn’t worry about it. I did counter with the fact that the mother behind us in line at the toy mecca of the world (Toys r Us) was about my age, had a little boy who looked to be under a year old, and looked like a celebrity. He said he hadn’t even noticed her at all since he was busy making cute faces at the little boy. That helped – if he hadn’t noticed, she couldn’t have been that perfect.

It’s not that I’m suffering from a lack of confidence or that I suddenly feel like an ugly duckling thrown back into high school. My self-esteem is still intact. It’s just that I couldn’t help but notice the difference, right down to the cute little purses compared to my big tote which was once really cool until I stuffed it full of diapers, wipes, and extra pajamas. It was sort of like the day I came home from the park with Hayley, covered in sand, ponytail falling out of my elastic, and carrying a neon pink Barbie tote bag full of toys only to pass someone from our building who was wearing full-on clubbing clothes, supermodel makeup, and hair that looked like it had been constructed by a team of professionals.

What it comes down to is priorities and I know that. Right now my priority is trying to remember everything that I need to bring for each kid when we go out. My priority is making sure the kids are dressed appropriately, that sippy cups are full, the potty seat is in the bag, Breanna’s warm enough but not suffocating under the blanket as we walk to the car, and that I’m at least not wearing my slippers by accident. If I can manage all that, then that’s more important than looking like Celebrity Mom.

But maybe next time I go out in public I can make just a little more effort to look pulled together like I used to once upon a lifetime ago. At least I can try when all my cute pants fit again. The crop tops may just go to the Salvation Army though.

Today was a great day for George to be home. Yesterday was his last day at work until after Christmas and THANK GOD. Last night Breanna woke up at 11:30 (just when I was ready to sleep, naturally) and by the time I fed her, changed her, and fed her from the other side, it was 1 am when I got her down. I then slept like the dead until 2:30. She was all stuffed up and although I got her down by 3, I didn’t really get back to sleep before she woke again at 3:30. At 4 I located the bulb aspirator which did no good at all. The only way she could sleep was upright so I sat on the couch with a pillow behind my head, and I held her on my shoulder. I did doze but never really slept.

I was exhausted when George and Hayley came out at 7:30 so George sent me to bed. Luckily Breanna’s breathing was better so I laid her down beside me and we both slept until about 10:30. I was so lucky George was home because I would have been useless otherwise. He also washed the dishes and made my lunch so clearly he rocks.

I had a good day with Hayley too. We made hats from coffee filters (thanks Mar!), played on the Disney Princess site (where a little quiz proved that Hayley is indeed Cinderella after all – so why doesn’t she clean anything?!), danced wildly in the living room, watched a Buzz Lightyear cartoon, made supper (hamburger stroganoff), and gave Bree a bath. All that with minimal arguing! She even settled down relatively well at bedtime and sat quietly for a story and went to sleep without driving me insane with ten thousand excuses.

I would be sleeping too but Breanna’s all off with her nose and weird naps so she just now fell asleep on my shoulder post-burp. I think I’ll go put her to bed and see how long it takes my own eyes to close. I need some sleep since I have last-minute shopping to do tomorrow. I hope I get more sleep than last night!

Today is Yule and I spazzed completely and didn’t plan ahead to do any of the things that I’ve usually done for Yule. As a result, supper was a tasty but un-festive meal of chicken nuggets, potatoes au gratin, and frozen vegetables. We also didn’t get the log cake that I like to have as a replacement for the Yule log. I didn’t even burn a single candle.

Oh well. Happy Yule! Hooray for the shortest day of the year now slipping past and hooray for the return of the light.

Anyway, Hayley and I were still sitting at the table because she was taking forever to eat and I asked her to please eat some of her vegetables if she wanted to have dessert. She sat there happily stuffing carrots and peas into her mouth and then informed me of something she has apparently researched.

Hayley: Boys don’t like vegetables.
Sherry: They don’t?
Hayley: No. But girls like vegetables. I like vegetables because I’m a girl.
Sherry: I didn’t know that. Why don’t boys like vegetables?
Hayley: I don’t know. I just don’t know. Because they’re silly.

Breanna turned a month old today already. It’s hard to believe that it’s already been that long. On the other hand, it feels so long ago when I think that at this hour a month ago I was in a hospital bed, probably nursing my newborn, with lots of friendly nurses who were there to help at a moment’s notice. I also really miss having three (tasty!) meals and three snacks brought to me every day. Why did I want to come home as soon as possible again? 🙂

Speaking of the hospital – why I love Canada’s health care system even if there are definite drawbacks: I got my bill in the mail recently. I went in on a Sunday morning and gave birth. I then spent the rest of the day in my semi-private room (semi-private means one roommate), and stayed all day Monday and until just past lunch time on Tuesday. As I mentioned, I got three meals a day and three snacks a day so for my particular timeframe I had two breakfasts, three lunches, two suppers, and seven snacks.

How much do we owe the hospital?

Six dollars. Yes. Six. And the only reason we have to pay that is because I requested a phone in my room. Had I chosen to not have a phone, we wouldn’t owe a penny.

I cringe when I hear how much it costs in the U.S. to give birth and stay in a hospital for a couple of days afterwards. Six dollars ROCKS.

And getting back to the beginning of this post, I really need to ask HOW is my baby a month old now? I can’t keep calling her my newborn anymore can I?

My one-month-old baby is sleeping soundly right now and I want so much to go to sleep but I know she’ll wake up in the next 20 minutes or so because she always wakes for a feed, diaper change, and feed again around 11:30 or midnight. She’s been sleeping since 8:30 and I really would have gone to sleep myself but I never expected her to stay asleep this long. Watch, she’ll pull some five-hour trick on me and I won’t benefit at all.

I think I’ll go and at least lie down with my book while I wait.

I haven’t had much time for reading but I did manage to update the media log with the last three movies that I saw. Woohoo.

To be filed under things you shouldn’t watch when you’re just a month post-partum: The made-for-television, based-on-a-true-story movie “Stolen Miracle”. It’s about a baby only one day old who was abducted from a hospital on Christmas eve by a manic depressive woman who posed as a nurse. I watched the first 45 minutes because I was unable to change the channel (I was lying in bed nursing Bree while putting Hayley to bed) but by the time I came out I was in hysterics at the thought; I actually had to change Bree’s pajamas because I had cried enough that they were wet. Abduction is a big fear I have with either of my kids (I’m sure most parents share that fear) but a baby taken from a maternity ward is especially appalling because you’re supposed to feel safe there.

Anyway, I know there’s a happy ending but I just couldn’t watch it. My hormones instructed me to hide out with George’s computer until CSI: Miami came on instead.

In unrelated anecdotes, I have to write about something Breanna does after I feed her because I don’t want to forget. Sometimes she falls asleep and her head flops back the way mine did when I used to take the bus for an hour at 7 in the morning while I was in college. However, if she’s still awake, when she’s done she’ll close her eyes in a drunken-like stupor, arch her back, pout her lips, and then she raises one arm above her head and shakes her little fist triumphantly. It’s as though she’s saying, “YES! That was great!” Hayley always looked drunk too but the fist waving is a nice touch.

Typing all of this with one hand was a slow process. Nursing at the keyboard makes for weird typing.

We took the kids to see Santa today. Hayley was so excited I thought she might pee her pants or spontaneously combust. Breanna was so excited that she slept through it.

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In other news, Breanna is four weeks old today (one month coming up in two more days). How did that happen? How is it possible that four whole weeks have gone by?

The lovely view out our sliding doors. You’d think we lived in a basement apartment instead of the 4th floor.