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The three of us at the park last week.
By the way there are a boatload more pictures over at Flickr.
I must say, sometimes I am extra proud to be Canadian.
I just saw this video and it makes me laugh so hard that I either had to share it or risk peeing my pants. I present you with David Hasselhoff’s incredibly cheesy video for “Hooked On A Feeling”. You’re welcome.
Seriously. Can’t.Stop.Laughing. There are tears. And a sore stomach. Maybe I should step away from the computer and regroup.
Okay so between driving with her baby on her lap and driving with him strapped in but forward-facing at only eight months, Britney has been beaten down by parents and the media everywhere. Then I actually felt sorry for her because everyone jumped on how she was clearly a bad mother because she tripped while carrying him and nearly dropped him because, you know, that NEVER happens to any of us. Right. I’ve tripped eight billion times while walking with each of my kids, plus banged their head or arm more than a few times while trying to pass through a door frame, and I also had each one roll off the couch because I was so sleep deprived that I fell asleep while nursing them. I’m human and hey, so is Britney except she has to be human in front of thousands of cameras.
But today I may have beaten Britney at the bad mother game. I think I win because not once, but TWICE today, I rocked Breanna to sleep courtesy of the soft and soothing sounds of 50 Cent*. Nothing says, “shhh, take a nap little baby” like a bit of gangsta rap.
(*For what it’s worth, I thought “Get Rich Or Die Trying” was a pretty good movie. Bonus = seeing the guy who plays Mr. Eko on Lost as a drug warlord.)
Last night I was glued to the television from 8 until 10 for American Idol’s finale, and then from 10 until midnight for this season’s last episode of Lost.
For the sake of spoilers, I’ll hide my Lost thoughts in the extended entry, but I’m not going to bother hiding the American Idol results because, honestly, if you didn’t see it yet and don’t want to know who won, you’d better stay offline, keep the radio and television off, and probably call in sick to work, because people are talikng about it everywwhere.
So. Some thoughts about American Idol:
1. They REALLY could have shaved off a half hour from the show if they hadn’t done the lame awards. Although it was cute to see Elliot’s mom win.
2. Dear Toni Braxton,
Getting all sexy during a song about how crappy life is in the ghetto? Yes, that’s VERY appropriate. Stop raiding Paula’s “medicine cabinet”.
Seriously, she kept trying to paw poor Taylor who just kept backing away like he was afraid she might try to rip his clothes off. She must have been high. Who gyrates seductively during a song with lines like “And his mama cries, ’cause if there’s one thing that she don’t need, it’s another hungry mouth to feed in the ghetto”. Nothing turns people on like total poverty. Skank.
3. Dear Mary J Blige,
Thanks so much for hogging almost every note of that song. I’m sure everyone who likes Elliot didn’t want to actually hear HIM sing. Doesn’t she get enough air time with her own career? I really liked Elliot and would have liked to have heard more.
And also, I totally admit to being disappointed when she walked out because for a minute I was honestly hoping BONO was there, as unlikely as it would have been. Alas.
4. Clay Aiken’s hair was the funniest thing ever, rivalled only by the reaction of the fan boy.
5. Prince made my entire night.
6. Dude. Meatloaf is looking a little, er, rough around the edges. And that song sucked. I admire Katharine’s effort, but it just didn’t work. Plus, I’m biased in that I think the best person to sing with Meatloaf is the girl who always sang with him. I don’t even know her name but I love her voice.
7. SOUL PATROL! I loved Taylor from his audition, and hoped he’d win since the very beginning, so needless to say, I was ecstatic that he won.
And now Lost, which left me feeling, er lost since it raised as many questions as it answered. Beware, here there be spoilers.
You know, they always say that young kids will one day learn to ask “why” and then they will never stop. You might think it’s an exageration, but it’s really not. Hayley started asking why around age two, or a little before, and has not only never stopped, she is picking up steam.
Generally it doesn’t bug me. Of course I understand it’s the only way to learn at that age since she can’t go look it up or read about it, so I answer as best as I can with age-appropriate answers (“The Earth turns and the sun goes around it, so when the sun sets here we share it with the people on the other side” instead of any heavier scientific stuff about rotation and revolution, for instance).
Some days though, it just never ends and I can’t answer one more “why” without wanting to cry a little, or possibly stick my ear plugs in my ears and pretend I have no idea WHY I can’t hear her. In fact, I’ve channelled my mother a few times, hearing myself say “Because I said so!” in response to the dreaded question in relation to not being allowed to do or have something.
But mostly it’s just the sort of thing that slowly drives you mildly insane until you snap just a little and give an answer that’s so confusing, it stops the questions for at least half an hour.
“Why is that crane over there?”
“Because they’re building a new set of condos.”
“What are condos?”
“Like apartments but you buy it like a house.”
“Can we go see it?”
“We can go to the edge and look but we can’t go right over.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s a construction site.”
“What’s a construction site?”
“Where they build stuff.”
“Why can’t we go?”
“Because it’s dangerous.”
“Why?”
“It just is.”
“Can we take a ball?”
“Not today.”
“Why not?”
“Because we’re not going out on the grass. We’re walking to Stone Step Hill and there’s nowhere to play soccer there, and I can’t carry the ball.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m pushing the stroller.”
“What will we do at Stone Step Hill?”
“We can feed the squirrels if there are any around.”
“What do squirrels eat?”
“Well, nuts and stuff but we’ll take a bit of bread.”
“Why?”
“LOOK, IT’S NOT THE BLOODY SPANISH INQUISITION! Are you ready to go?”
“… Yes, Mommy.”
“Good. Let’s go.”
You know how you can tell it’s going to be one LONG day? When you walk past the microwave and see the clock says 7:44 and you think, “I’d better hurry up and get the kids to bed.” And then you realize that you’ve only been up for an hour and it’s 7:44 a.m. not p.m. and yes, it’s morning.
I made my coffee just a little stronger than usual; I think the day is going to be a drawn-out one of epic proportions.
Today Breanna turned six months old. Half a year already. For some reason it feels like this is going even faster than it did with Hayley. I think that’s probably because between Hayley and Breanna I’m even busier than I was when we hit the six-month milestone the first time around.
A quick state of the Breebles address:
-She’s going to grow up unaware that her name is actually Breanna because 90% of the time we call her Breebles.
-She sits really well now, getting better every day; if she starts to topple forward she often catches herself and then pushes herself back up.
-She’s still madly trying to crawl and can actually get a bit of movement if she has to go over something, like my leg or a cushion. The day she actually gets it down, she’s going to be down the hall before I can blink. Maybe I should start childproofing, yes?
-She loves bath time more than ever before since she’s been using the bath ring. She seems to prefer when Hayley is in with her because they can splash and play.
-She has started saying more sounds, especially buh buh buh. She “talks” all the time and will quite possibly be as big of a chatterbox as Hayley is. I’m investing in ear plugs.
-She seems to enjoy cars. She likes playing with a toy garbage truck and a tow truck a lot.
-She seems to have decided that the idea of solids was more enjoyable than the real thing; I gave her banana again today and she looked kind of repulsed. She’s never liked the taste of the vitamin D drops nor the Tempra, so maybe she’s not sure about all this explosion of flavor; maybe she’ll like the blandness of rice cereal better? No big deal though, there’s no rush. At this point it’s mostly for fun and to include her in the meal.
-She has started taking steps when she’s held up in a standing position. Until recently, if you held her hands, she kept her feet firmly planted side by side and just leaned in whatever direction she was interested in. Now she’s actually started “walking” towards me while I hold her hands. Obviously she’s very wobbly. People keep saying that she’s going to walk early but I have a picture of me walking Hayley around a park at seven months and she still refused to walk without assistance until 13 months, so I’m not putting any pressure on her.
-STILL NO TEETH DAMMIT. I wouldn’t care because I seriously love gummy baby smiles, but some days the teething really bugs her and I wish for her sake that they would either just break through and get it over with or else lay off and leave her alone.
-She has decided that she loathes getting dressed in anything that requires her to put her arms through sleeves, whether it’s long sleeved or short sleeved. This makes dressing her a great joy, and feels kind of like wrestling an angry octopus. I’ve gotten to the point where I just apologize and do it as fast as I can.
-She is mostly wearing clothes that are 9 months and up, and one set of pajamas is actually for 18 months and they’re only a little bit big on her. Yeesh.
-I can keep her entertained for an enternity if I sit and blow bubbles with my gum for her.
-She is growing up entirely too quickly.
You know what really hurts? Catching a single hair from your bangs between your eyeball and your contact lens. Holy fricken’ ouch.
I really don’t recommend trying that at home.
You know how the vast majority of the newer electric kettles have an auto shut-off feature? I forget whether it shuts off at a certain temperature or if it somehow registers that the kettle has boiled dry, but either way it shuts down and prevents a fire.
I am extremely sleepy today despite the fact that I went to bed at 10:30 last night, took all of maybe five minutes to fall asleep, Breanna slept all night without waking me (from 8:30 pm until about 5:30 this morning!), and aside from my brief wake-up to feed Breanna in the early morning hours, I went back to sleep until Hayley woke up at 6:50 am. That was a pretty good sleep because I usually go to bed later and most mornings, when George leaves for work at 5:30 I have trouble going back to sleep because I’m always listening for Hayley. Regardless, I feel a bit like a zombie today so although I already had my usual morning coffee with breakfast, I decided that I should make a second one to avoid passing out in the middle of something important like a diaper change.
I plugged the kettle in and brought Breanna out to the living room while I waited for it to boil. I then tidied up a few things that Hayley had brought out and straightened the cushions on the couch, puttered around, got some toys for Breanna, blablabla. Then I walked out to put Hayley’s applesauce bowl in the sink and noted that “holy shit! The kettle!” It had been boiling merrily away for approximately ten minutes. Luckily it was pretty full so there was plenty of water left for my coffee.
So now you know, auto shut-off features were created for two specific types of people: Those with Alzheimer’s and mothers of young children who lost at least half their brain cells while pushing. I still firmly believe that the so-called placenta that I pushed out was actually part of my brain.
