On Friday I had an interesting opportunity to see Hayley in a school environment. The schools always have a Terry Fox Run annually, and the teacher had sent home a note saying that if any parents wanted to come out and run, walk, or just stand on the side to cheer, that they would love to have us. It was a nice day after a night of rain, so I took Breanna and went up.

The race started after morning recess so they were still all outside when I was arriving. I stood for a second at the fence and I was able to see Hayley playing with a soccer ball with a few of the girls and a woman who is the yard monitor. Hayley never saw me and I didn’t want her to because it was fun to see her interacting with people without any awareness of my presence. I didn’t linger too long though, because I didn’t want anyone to wonder why some woman was peering through the fence at a bunch of school kids – I’d hate to have missed the run because I was taken to the police station to be questioned about my Peeping Tom tendencies!

When I had signed myself in, I chatted with some other moms that I recognized from the after-school pick-up, and then we were all ushered out into the school yard. It was awhile before Hayley came out; they called out the grades in order from the oldest down to the Kindergarten level so that the younger you are, the less time you had to run (or walk). Still, Breanna and I cheered on all the kids and the principal who was right in the thick of things. I saw one of our neighbor’s kids and several other kids were wooed by Breanna, calling out to me with exclamations of, “she’s so cute!” as they ran past.

Finally, it was time for Hayley to get ready to come out. I was waiting by the Kindergarten door when they came out to the hallway and she spotted me through the windows. I couldn’t hear her of course, but I saw her mouth the words, “that’s my MOM!” to all the other kids, and then she was waving excitedly at Breanna too. The teacher waved for me to come in so I joined them and was impressed by how easily she organized 20 kids into two neat, orderly lines. Then we were off!

It was almost like being with a teenager. Hayley held my hand for all of, oh, 30 seconds, and then she was off. Have you ever noticed Hayley’s gazelle-like legs? That kid can run. Trying to keep up with Breanna on my hip was insane so I stopped trying. It wasn’t like she could get lost or anything. Eventually I came around the full circuit and put Breanna back in her stroller which made it a bit easier. Still, although Hayley would periodically stop to walk long enough for me to catch up or would come running back to meet me, most of the time I watched her racing ahead with her friends. I was the mom who was ditched by her daughter for her way cooler friends.

And you know what? I loved it. For all the heartache I went through the first couple of weeks, putting on my brave, happy face and I sent her off to enter the school while she cried her way across the school yard, I can not tell you how good it felt to see her smiling and laughing and having fun with her school friends. Two or three weeks ago, she would have been clinging to me the whole time. This time, she was happy I was there but she didn’t need me to help her along.

When it was over, I went back in with the class because I had to pass by the office to sign out, and it was time for the Kindergarten and grade one kids to head to the cafeteria for lunch. Hayley said, “I don’t want you to go yet” and I told her I had to go home to give Breanna a nap and that I would be back soon to pick her up. I was worried she would get sniffly and teary-eyed, but she just hugged me and then hugged Breanna and that was it. All the kids have to sit with their lunch bags on their laps in front of their cubbies and when they’re all sitting and ready then the teacher leads them down to the cafeteria. I spoke with her teacher for a few moments about possibilities of volunteering for some future activities (something I am dying to do!) and when I was ready to leave, Hayley wasn’t even looking my way, she was talking to the boy and girl next to her, all animated and bright-eyed about something. I didn’t bother to say goodbye again, not wanting to interrupt her, so we left.

I was so proud. I was proud of how she ran for the majority of 20 minutes, walking only when she truly had to, proud of how she was so involved with her friends, and proud of how far she’s come in such a short time.

Tomorrow is picture day. Having met two of her good friends (one is a boy! A boy that she drew pictures for last week! Ack!), I already have two faces to put to the names. I can’t wait to get the class picture so I can have faces for every name she comes home with.