Sometimes my girls will fight and scream and cry and wage an all-assault tug-of-war over one lone toy (never mind that there are approximately 85762 other toys to choose from around here) and it makes a vein I was never previously aware of throb mightily in the middle of my forehead. I find it so frustrating to deal with sibling rivalry even though I know it’s not uncommon and probably even completely normal. Hell, my own sister and I fought like cat and dog growing up, so it’s not like I didn’t know it could happen.
Still, I guess that I wish they could fast forward to where my sister and I are now, where we are so close (even if there’s an entire province between us) and get along so well. I honestly can’t remember the last fight we had, when it was, what it was about, not a thing. So I guess that I just see how great things can be between sisters and then I see my girls practically going to war.
And then they surprise me. I’ll see Breanna lift a spoonful of Minigo towards Hayley to share. I’ll see Hayley break some treat in half to share back. I once gave Breanna a cookie and before I could go ask Hayley if she wanted one, Breanna held up her other hand and asked, “Aylay?” I gave her another cookie and she trotted off to give one to her big sister. I’ll see Hayley and Breanna dancing together, looking at books together, lying on a blanket on the floor together to watch TV, making funny faces at each other, and laughing hysterically over who-knows-what together.
Those are the times that I can’t stop smiling and I can almost forget the other moments where all I can hear is, “Mine!” “No, MINE!”
And sometimes when one is a little unsteady on her feet or nervous, the other will lend a hand and guide the way.
(Sometimes the guides wear superhero capes to the park. Sometimes the little sister pretty much thinks her big sister IS a superhero, so that all works out. I’m going to seriously miss going to the park when this nice last-ditch summer weather ends.)
Just think of all the conflict management skills they are learning!
My kids are the same way. But you are right, seeing them play together does wash away all the negativity that comes with the fighting.
One study (who knows how valid) showed one set of siblings who fought like cats and dogs when their parents were around … and amazing just quit fighting and played together when their parents went into another room. Of course my brother and I were the exact opposite of that.
Oh god: “And sometimes when one is a little unsteady on her feet or nervous, the other will lend a hand and guide the way” nearly made me cry.
And although we did fight a lot, we also had those better moments like Hayley and Breanna have. Whenever I think of the movie “Old Yeller”, I think of how you watched it with me, you sitting on the hassock, me on the floor in front of you, and at the end, you put your arms around me and squeezed tight as I sobbed.
Okay. I’m going back to work now before I start sobbing at my desk!
Siblings fights and make-ups are the greatest. I had them all through childhood with my brother and its starting to make me feel that I can’t leave my son as an only child……
I see things similar in Stephanie and Abigail. They can be absolutely horrible to each other but then do the simplest, subtlest things to show their love for each other. When they’re being nice to each other, I sometimes wish I had a sister. When they’re being horrid, I’m glad I don’t!
You captured this perfectly. I love those cookie moments.
I love this post. The picture is stunning. With the story that goes with it, you should enter it somewhere just to share if nothing else and I also love the touch Amanda gave by commenting to you. This was all around the best post I have read in weeks. Deb