I am totally making this for supper one day this week.

Little ears are always listening. Always, always. And I try to keep that in mind but the truth is I curse like a sailor and while I’ve tried to be more g-rated (saying “freakin'” or even “frickin'” or “f-ing”… and my new favorite from Alvin and the Chipmunks, “Holy nuts!”) it still slips out.

The thing is Hayley is old enough to know that while we might say something as adults it’s inappropriate for her to repeat them, especially in the presence of other adults, ESPECIALLY adults like her grandparents. That’s okay. But Breanna is only two and a half years old and she doesn’t grasp this fine logic so we worry about her picking things up and saying them in front of other people. Right now she says “kiss my butt!” a lot which is actually kind of hilarious but I worry sometimes that others will not be so charmed.

For Christmas we gave Breanna a train table and it came with all kinds of stuff including some trees that you can place around the tracks. Naturally they’re never actually ON the table, they’re usually strewn about the apartment. I was walking through the living room and stepped on one so I said, “OW, fucking tree!” Then I picked it up and pitched it in one of the toy baskets.

Fast forward a few hours. Breanna is digging through the basket, muttering. Finally she raises her hands in despair and hollers, “Where my fuckin’ tree?! Where my fuckin’ TREE?!”

Uh. Oops.

Luckily I am occasionally quick on my feet so I rummaged through the other assorted toys, found the tree, and said, “here Breanna! Here’s your FUNKY tree!”

She held it up and smiled. “Oh yes! My funky tree! I love my funky tree!”

Whew.

Today when I picked Hayley up at school she was very excited to tell me that she had been able to go to the gym to watch the grade six graduation ceremony. She was very chatty about it and seemed to have enjoyed the experience.

Then she told me that she got to eat some food afterwards; apparently they had a little buffet of stuff for everyone. I asked her what she had eaten.

“A radish, a piece of pizza, and some cake.”

Well, hey good for that radish, that balances it all out right there!

I am such an incredibly unapologetic enormous David Cook fan.

Seriously.

Last year Hayley said she had fun at soccer but she didn’t really play much. She occasionally kicked the ball but mostly she just ran around the field and frequently did gymnastics spontaneously by throwing herself into somersaults and the like. However, she was only four at the time, one of the youngest on the team.

This year she’s one of the bigger kids and it shows. She’s still reluctant to get into the middle of everything because she doesn’t entirely believe that shin pads will keep her from getting hurt what with all the kicking feet, but she’s more aggressive and really does try to go after the ball.

When she played at the soccer expo season opener I missed the whole thing because Breanna was antsy and by the time we got back the game was over. Then we went for the game last week only to be met with a thunderstorm. This week was the first time I actually got to see her play this season and the difference is amazing – I guess it helps that she often plays soccer outside at recess with some of the kids at school. In fact, for this game, one of her good friends was playing on the other team so that was fun!

I was really excited to see her charging after the ball and actually getting it around on the field unlike last year.

It was exciting, I’m looking forward to the rest of the season!

*******

Hayley is so close to finishing school. Her last day is next Friday, the 20th. I can’t believe that it’s almost over. I remember how hard the beginning of the year was, and how it broke my heart to leave her crying in the school yard every morning as one of the Kindergarten teachers gently led her away. I know she has no idea how many of those mornings would find me crying as I left because I always put on a big, bright smile and waved as she went into the school. September was probably the longest month of my life but then everything just sort of clicked, she fell in love with school, and now the rest of the year has flown by and I am in shock that in just over a week I will have a child who is going into first grade. How did that happen?

Things have really changed. She runs into school with her friends, she is often disappointed when she comes home on Friday afternoons because she won’t see her classmates for two whole days, and she’s concerned about keeping in touch over the summer.

Today I woke up and felt pretty horrible. Horrible enough that I just wanted to go back to bed. In a reversal of roles, I was pleading Hayley to just stay home today, please please stay home, and she was flat out refusing, insisting that she had to go to school.

In the end I sucked it up and took her, and later I told her how proud I was because many other kids would have jumped on the chance to stay home and play hookey.

*******

The school doesn’t have any kind of formal graduation for Kindergarten. They may do something fun and special on the last day of class but there’s no ceremony like some schools have. I’m going to pick up some black posterboard at the dollar store this weekend and one night when she’s sleeping I’ll make her a grad cap. I’ll hide it until Friday and when I pick her up I’ll give it to her to wear and we’ll take her to McDonald’s for supper, something she frequently requests. It will be our own little private grad party.

*******
There is nothing on. I can’t decide whether to just go to bed (gasp, at 10 pm?!) or try to read something. I’m in between books now. I recently finished A Thousand Splendid Suns and despite the fact that I sobbed hysterically through most of it, it’s now moved its way up my list to perch at the top as my favorite book EVER. The problem with that is it’s hard to pick something new up to follow it. I ended up choosing what I thought was total young adult fluff and read The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants but it ended up being so good that I’m dying to get the sequel now. It also wasn’t as light as I thought and I ended up crying over that too. Maybe I should go find one of my books by David Sedaris so I can laugh, this book crying is getting a bit much.

I think I’ll make a cup of tea and try to read. We’ll see how long I last before I face plant on my pillow.

I want to spend rainy summer days making this cardboard dollhouse. It is *amazing*.

A couple of weeks ago I got an invitation from the school inviting me to a Volunteer Appreciation tea in the school gym. George had to work but his dad was able to come take care of Breanna so I headed on over. The whole thing started at 1:15 so I assumed I was going to end up in the gym with a bunch of parents, some of those big stainless steel thermoses of tea and coffee, and some baked goods. I expected to chit chat, hang out, then pick Hayley up when school let out.

No. Not even close. When that school appreciates its volunteers, it REALLY appreciates them.

I walked in with a couple of moms that I had just met in the hall upstairs, and found that we were to sit in some folding chairs at the front of the gym. As we discussed our kids, we realized that all the students were being led in to sit down on the gym floor – it was a full assembly. I spotted Hayley and we waved at each other, then the principal started talking, telling us how important it is to the school to have people like us helping out and telling the kids how important it is to acknowledge it.

Then he handed out certificates to each of us, calling us up by name to give us our personal certificate of thanks and a flowering plant. It was like being at an awards show, after each name was called, all the kids burst into applause. I may have blushed as I walked past Hayley’s kindergarten class and all the kids reached out their hands for me to give them high fives – it was like being a rock star for 30 seconds.

What was especially cute was that the woman who served the pizza once a month on Pizza Day got the loudest, most enthusiastic screaming applause.

When the assembly was over, we all headed upstairs and Hayley’s latest dream came true. Lately she’s been saying she wishes so much that she was in the after-school daycare program and lamenting the fact that she isn’t part of it. Since school was over for the day, all kids of parents at the event were sent outside into the yard with the daycare kids – she was ecstatic.

The tea was held in Hayley’s classroom and they went all out. They had beautiful little china cups and saucers for tea and coffee, homemade scones, everything. I really got in touch with my British roots.

I ended up staying about 45 minutes before finally gathering a reluctant Hayley who really wanted to stay longer.

What was particularly funny was that in the morning I debated staying home, unsure whether I would know anyone else there and whether I’d feel out of place, but I had a great time. I talked to so many other mothers and enjoyed myself. I also found out who is in charge of the Parent Organization and asked her about how to become more involved next year. I always promised myself I would be a big part of the schools the girls attend and I’m already looking forward to next year after talking to the president of the group. She told me that most of the current members will be on their last year next year since their kids will be entering grade six, so they really need new people to join.

Considering I was expecting something very simple and worrying that I would feel awkward it ended up being a really awesome way to spend two hours of my afternoon.

I can’t believe that there are only 12 days of school left!

Do you know what I hate?

This morning I was watching my favorite news show, Canada A.M. and they got to the section of the show where they read people’s letters. Yesterday’s question involved global warming. It turns out that someone had said that the temperatures lately are roughly five degrees lower than normal and therefore that means that there is clearly no such thing as global warming because it’s colder out, not hotter.

And what I hate most of all is that I so desperately want to argue this “it’s colder so there’s no global warming” point with these people but I can’t because it’s impossible to argue anything after my HEAD HAS EXPLODED.

Isn’t this an innocent little face? The kind of face that belongs to a tiny angel? Yes, they all look that way when they sleep. It’s when they’re awake that you have to worry.

Tonight we headed out to Hayley’s first official soccer game of the season. We arrived at the field at the same time as the thunder and lightning did – the game was immediately canceled. Since we were home about 45 minutes earlier than I expected, I decided to quickly wash the dishes I had left behind and then went ahead and did a bit of work that I still had left, figuring if I could get it done before the kids went to bed the rest of the evening would be mine.

Hayley was drawing pictures at the table and Breanna had been watching her. All was quiet and I was typing away.

Be ye warned – when they’re quiet, there’s a 95% chance they’re doing something you don’t want them to be doing!

While Hayley was indeed still drawing away, Breanna had left the table. She then walked up to me with her hands out in front of her, asking, “What dis Mommy?” She appeared to be coated in some sort of thick cream. I jumped up, trying to think what cream had been left lying about. Then my nose kicked in and I knew it was not cream.

It was the mostly congealed fat that I had not yet emptied from the grease trap in the bottom of the grill that I had used to make burgers. Which she had, apparently, pulled out and played in. I managed to only shriek quietly (mostly), and I grabbed her and steered her by the elbows towards the bathroom, passing through the kitchen. That was when I noticed she had pulled out the entire grease trap and used it to *fingerpaint* all over the side of the deep freezer.

And it was in her hair too.

Cue the quick bath and shampoo (three times with the shampoo!), after which I cleaned up the “art”.

Good lord.

But then she came up to me, wringing her fingers, and said, “I forry Mommy.”

And really, how the hell can you be mad at someone who says “forry”?