Ever notice that sometimes there are little hints that you’re a parent? I mean sure, the explosion of toys in the living room might be a subtle clue, or perhaps the baby parked on your hip is a dead giveaway, but there are other things that don’t stand out so clearly but scream “I’m a parent!” just as loudly.
For instance, you may be a parent if:
-your ponytail is being held back by an elastic with a plastic Dora figure on it
-your glasses have very tiny fingerprints
-you cut yourself and apply a bandage covered in balloons and clowns because that’s all you have handy
-you have a stomach ache from eating too quickly so you take a bit of gripe water
-it’s after 9 pm and you catch yourself softly singing the fucking theme song to Rolie Polie Olie under your breath
-you wash your hair with Johnson’s baby shampoo
-you scribble notes and to-do list in crayon because they’re far more accessible than pens
-you notice that, as you’re standing and waiting for your tea to brew, you’re gently swaying from side to side, the same way you do when you’re soothing the baby
What are your little things?
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For me, I sing “Hey, it’s Franklin… comin’ over to play.” 🙂
Oh, the sway thing is my biggest tip off that I do in fact have offspring. I sway just about anytime I am standing still. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I had a blister the other day (new heels) and had to wear a Dora band-aid over it. lol.
Opening my jar of Blistex and finding little finger holes in it.
Taking Minigo in my lunch.
Using Winnie the Pooh Toothpaste ’cause we had none left (really gross).
Taking a bath with duckies and cars.
Recognising the fact that Maria Darling is the voice of the Mole Sisters and a couple of the Rubberdubbers.
Laurie Berkner on my car stereo, even when there are no kids in the car.
Beheaded tulips in the front yard.
I sway all the time too (it’s worse now, since my youngest is only 9 weeks old. The sway is back in full force!)
I say I have to go to the “potty” to anyone and everyone
I refer to myself in the 3rd person and as “mommy”
When at a park and a child screams “mommy” I turn around
Listening and singing along to kids music in and out of the car (although to be honest I used to do that when I was a teacher and was trying to find songs for classroom themes for my primary grade children)
I look at every day objects with a new eye – brooms = swords buttons = choking hazards
Joey’s small tupperware snack containers are the perfect size for bringing salad dressing to work, but they also have little stupid clown heads all over them.
Toys and little bags of snacks in my purse at all times.
I pulled a pacifier out of my purse at work the other day.
I always do the sway thing.
I sing all of his little tunes… at work.
Oh Yes, the sway
I have diapers in my school bag
The colour of poop and snot are easily part of most conversations
I also refer to going to the potty for myself
Farts are really funny now 🙂
Well it’s a little different for me – but the same. I know I’m a mom to a teen and preteen because I can actually listen to hip-hop and rap and not get a headache. And I even know some of the words.