Life as a girl - Girlology
I have vague recollections of the Sex Talk with my mom. I forget how old I was but I remember it started because I asked her what the pads were in the bathroom, which led to a conversation about periods, babies, and how they get there. I don’t know if my mom was embarrassed by the topic because she was very straight forward about it, so if she was uncomfortable it didn’t show through.
The conversation we had was very basic though. My mom seemed to feel it was best to answer honestly but not offer up too much information. And you know, that’s fine because seriously, who wants to discuss blow jobs and orgasms with their mom, right?
In grade six I took out a book about sex from the school library, one that was kept behind the desk - you had to ask for it to borrow it. In hindsight, although I realize they didn’t want the Kindergarten crowd wondering what all those diagrams meant, it wasn’t a great idea to have it behind the desk either. I wonder how many kids were too shy to ask for it and didn’t learn the basics for years because of that. I don’t remember what it was called, but it was very basic and straight forward too. It covered anatomy and whatnot but nothing deeper than that. It probably had a very strong “sex is for married people who want to have a baby” message and contained little about how to deal with peer pressure or the reality of all the people who actually don’t wait for marriage anymore.
I’m jumping the gun by many years, but I got to review a copy of Girlology: Hang-Ups, Hook-Ups, and Holding Out for the Parent Bloggers Network
. It’s not something Hayley or Breanna will need for awhile but I’m glad to be able to own it and keep it on my bookshelf for the future. I want to be very open about sex and answer any questions Hayley and Breanna might have, but when the conversation is over I want to be able to give them the book and say, “here’s something for all the questions you don’t want to ask me, and if you want we can discuss anything you want afterwards.”
I do have to confess something - I thought I remembered being a teenager, but when I read the very first story in the book about a girl who gets pressured into a sexual situation she’s not ready for I flashed back to being a teenager for real. There are so many things I don’t really remember off the top of my head and the whole book brought them flooding back, especially all the questions that boil down to “am I normal?” because honestly, that’s like the mantra of teenhood - wondering if you’re normal and if anyone else is going through the same thing.
I am a firm believer that avoiding talking about sex (including birth control and STDs) doesn’t help kids to abstain; it only helps them get pregnant and come down with diseases. Not learning about sex leads to learning in the locker room - or the back of a car.
Every chapter presents true-to-life examples of peer pressure, body issues, etcetera, interviews with teenagers, and explanations and tips for teens today on how to deal with the millions of questions they have. It’s down to earth and honest and doesn’t treat teens like they’re idiots. I remember well enough the general attitude towards teenagers by older members of society and it’s insulting, so it’s great to see a book that deals with such an important topic that does NOT talk down to them.
I’m sure that when I try having The Talk with my girls and give them this book to read through, there will be some sighing, some eye-rolling, and some “Oh, GOD Mom, you’re soooo embarrassing” but hopefully when they close the door, they’ll pick the book up and find all the answers to the questions they don’t want to have to ask me.
It’s definitely worth thinking about if you have kids who are hurtling towards their teenage years.
July 25th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
I like your attitude. You must be a good mum!