Chaos Theory Reviews

When The Parent Bloggers Network first offered up the chance to review the book When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don’t Get Along by Dr. Joshua Coleman, I almost deleted the email, figuring it didn’t apply to me. While I’ve had my moments with my family, for the most part we got along more than we didn’t and we aren’t estranged now that I’m an adult.

Then I thought about it a little more. One of my biggest fears is the thought of not having contact with my kids when they’re older. They’re only four years old and 20 months old right now so it’s hard to imagine a time that I’m not going to hear “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy” all day long but it’s coming. Some day they will grow up, move out, and have their own lives. But the thought of something happening between us that would somehow cause them to turn their backs on me or vice versa is horrible. I decided that it might be useful to have this book and its advice for the future, when my girls are teenagers (God, I remember being a teenager, I’m scared) and parent-child relationships start getting a bit rough around the edges. I know that it won’t be foolproof, but if I can prevent our family from becoming one that doesn’t speak to each other except for a brief phone call on Christmas morning, then reading the book seemed like a good idea.

Already, parenting is hard. Hayley is four and four is a hard age. She’s pushing boundaries all the time, and even if that’s normal it’s still frustrating. If it’s hard now, it can only get harder, so I hoped that the book would give me ideas on how to change my own reactions and my own actions, maybe making them habits that would help our family in the future.

What I loved about the book was that it helped me see that not everything is the parent’s fault. Parental guilt is so ingrained that it’s easy to blame yourself for everything or let others blame you, but Dr. Coleman reminds us that sometimes the way kids act as teens and adults is not a direct result of things we said or did when they were younger. Considering that I have a knee-jerk tendency to yell - something I am constantly working on - that’s a bit of a relief. After a bad day, I sometimes think that both girls are going to hate me when they’re older because of the way I reacted that afternoon, and knowing that it’s not necessarily true helps.

On the other hand, he also does discuss a variety of issues that may have caused strife, including divorce and conflicting personalities. Having different personalities is something that hits home for me. I sometimes look at Hayley and see how different we are in certain ways and I think of the future and hope that it won’t be a brick wall when she’s older. It frightens me to think that something I have no control over - personality - could cause problems between us, but knowing that it’s not uncommon and having different ideas of how I can approach that is reassuring.

The book was a bit hard for me to read only because it doesn’t apply to my life at the moment, but I could easily see the value in it if you are indeed the parent of an older teen or adult child and your relationship is strained beyond the average family tension. Dr. Coleman gives a lot of good advice on how to deal with a rocky relationship, one of the most obvious ones being that while you should show compassion to your children and try to reach out to them, that you should only do it if it seems to work. In other words, if your repeated gestures and attempts are met with contempt it’s okay to stop. It’s okay to step back and send a card or make a phone call on their birthday and then step back again.

Even though this book doesn’t help me at this time in my life, I am glad to have read through it and made mental bookmarks for future reference. I’ve known people who scream about “family first” and that family is the most important thing in life, but you know, sometimes it doesn’t work out like that just because you say so. If the foundation isn’t there, the blood ties won’t necessarily mean anything. You can be related to someone and not like them; we pick our friends because we DO like them, but we can’t choose who our family members are. If it were as easy as declaring family to be all-important, we wouldn’t need a book like this and fewer families would be divided. Obviously it’s more complicated.

If what I’ve read can help me keep my family from slipping into a lonely place of estrangement, it will be well worth it. If, despite my hopes and attempts, things don’t go that way, I know I can turn to this book for tips. Either way, it will stick around my bookshelf. I may need it when the teen years hit.

I’ve never really had a huge problem with battery operated toys (other than the constant need to replace the batteries, that is). I do get annoyed with them after awhile though, just because if a toy makes noises and lights up and moves then your kids don’t have to use their imagination as much while playing with them. I’ve seen Hayley turn a stick into a fishing rod, a wand, and a microphone so imagining is just ingrained in their brains and because of that, I do admit I prefer toys that don’t do anything unless the kids make them do something.

That’s one thing I love about Noah’s Pals. When I was asked by The Parent Bloggers Network if I’d be interested in trying them out and reviewing them, I hesitated for a second because we’re not a religious family. I have certain beliefs but following the Bible isn’t one of them and I wondered if getting these toys would bring about a lot of questions that I can’t answer. Then I realized that kids love fantastical stories and what story is more fantastic than that of a man and his family saving two of every animal in the world from a huge flood that wiped the Earth clean? It didn’t have to be religious, just fun and exciting. So I said yes.

When the package arrived, I think I was even more excited than Hayley was - but not for long because she nearly shrieked with happiness when she saw all the animals. In our package we received two seals, two moose (how very Canadian!), two caribou, two penguins, and two snow leopards (which were on the endangered list), along with Noah himself and two doves. Luckily for me, George is more familiar with Christian Bible stories so he explained to Hayley that one of the doves had a branch in his mouth because after the flood Noah sent him out to find some land. Beyond that, we gave her a basic explanation of who Noah was and what he did, and that was all she needed.

We then turned the box they had shipped in into an ark.

The animals all come with plastic collector cards that include their names (though Hayley did rename the penguins to Memphis and Gloria, thank you Happy Feet), information about where they come from and how they live, and whether they’re abundant or in some level of danger about becoming extinct. I love that they’re fun to play with but also have an opportunity for education at the same time. Hayley was so interested in them that we ended up on the Internet, looking up more pictures of the animals she had gotten. The cards also allow you to track via ID code which animals you’ve collected and you can earn special gifts if you collect all of a certain type of animal.

The toys are geared for ages 5 and up, but Hayley is close enough that there’s no problem with her playing with them. Even Breanna, at less than two years of age, can play a bit too. I don’t let her have the small toys like the doves, and we try to discourage her from playing with the caribou and moose just because I don’t want her to break the antlers, but she loves to play with the big seal and the big penguin.

The prices are really reasonable if you get the animals separately, and you can also currently buy the entire set including the ark and 40 pairs of animals for $269 through Amazon. They’re great quality, and the inner crafty geek in me is impressed that they’re all hand painted. And speaking of geek, I also LOVE the fact that there are unlimited pairs of the common animals, but a limited number of vulnerable animals and even fewer pairs of endangered animals, just like in the real world.

The best part about these toys though is that I love playing with them too. It’s hard to get all excited over a whirling, spinning, music-playing battery-operated toy but it’s easy to get down on the floor and play with little animals. They’re fun for the kids, but they’re fun for me too!

These days, with the exception of my current frantic re-read of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in anticipation of reading the final book tomorrow, the vast majority of my reading has been non-fiction, mostly for parent-based information. I do enjoy good non-fiction, but every once in awhile I just want to put the advice down and get lost in a great make-believe world. That’s why I enjoy television and movies, but there’s still nothing that beats a well-written story that brings my imagination to life.

For that, I am so happy I got to be a part of Mother Talk’s blog book tour for Carol Parkhurst’s second novel, Lost and Found. Right off the bat I knew I would love the story because it’s based on characters who are participating in a reality TV show similar in concept to “The Amazing Race” - one of my favorite shows.

Although the main characters are a mother and daughter, the author still shifts to the point of view of the other characters so that you get a real understanding and feel of who they all are. While the contestants race around the world, we not only get a taste of the behind-the-scenes truth of reality television (such as, duh, not everything we see on TV is all there is to it, it’s manipulated by producers), we get to know the characters and the stories they have. We read about the daughter in the mom-daughter team having given birth without anyone even being aware that she was ever pregnant, a man and woman who are married after giving up their gay lifestyles and continue to struggle to “remain straight”, a young woman who was once a child star and still seeks her return to fame and fortune, and how they all cope with their own issues while still racing for the finish line.

The story moves well and held my interest so that I finished it in just a few days. Since I get interrupted a lot by two little folks who don’t understand that Mom is reading and also have to fit in work and housework (and occasionally sleep), I don’t usually get through books so quickly, so to me that’s a positive review in and of itself.

I definitely recommend this story to people who are also fans of reality television shows, but even if you’re not into them the story of the contestants is compelling enough that you would likely enjoy it anyway.

When I was asked to review a complimentary copy of the book The 24-Hour Pharmacist for the Parent Bloggers Network, I was interested because I am one of those crazy freaks who likes to look things up on Google to try to diagnose something or to find different ways to treat something. I figured having a compact book would be a great resource and I was looking forward to flipping through it.

The book did not disappoint at all. One nice thing about it is that although it’s useful for moms, it’s not just about kids. it’s really a book for the whole family and it offers a wide variety of solutions to basic ailments. I like the way it’s broken up into sections with titles called “Above the Waist”, “Above the Neck”, and Below the Waist” to help you quickly find what you’re looking for, whether you’re wanting advice for an earache or constipation. The book provides information about things you won’t always find in medical-based books either, such as vitamins, herbs, and aromatherapy.

What’s nice is that it’s not a dry book. It doesn’t read like a medical journal, even though it’s written by a pharmacist; it’s a nice light approach with even a bit of humor (such as the chapter titled “When he wants Viagra and you want a Valium”).

It won’t replace your doctor, of course, but for non-urgent questions, this book is awesome. No one wants to call their doctor at 10 pm because they have a headache or a blocked ear, so having a quick reference guide where you can look up treatments is so handy.

It’s definitely a book that I’m happy to keep on my bookshelf!

I’ve gotten a lot of fun review opportunities thanks to The Parent Bloggers Network but I nearly jumped up and down when they offered me a chance to try out two Kaboom products. I have always loved trying out different cleaning products; when I was a teenager and old enough to spend time by myself, my mother and sister would go up north to my grandmother’s for the summer and my dad would be at work, and I would climb up on a chair to pull out all of my mother’s various cleaning concoctions to try different ones out.

It’s hard to believe sometimes when my home is an explosion of mess but I still love cleaning with new products so I was very excited when a tired delivery man hauled himself up four flights of stairs to deliver a box that contained the Shower, Tub, and Tile Cleaner and the Never Scrub Continuous Toilet Cleaning System.

I was a little scared off by the detailed diagram on how to hook up the toilet cleaner so I left that alone to start and set about cleaning up the bathroom with the spray cleaner. It did really well on the sink and surrounding counter, the faucet, and the counter behind our toilet. It did a fairly good job on the bathtub but our water is so ridiculously hard that the tub really needs more of an abrasive powder cleaner; still it definitely cleaned away the ring left behind from the kids the night before. However, the part that made it worthwhile to buy it in the future? It made my shower tiles sparkle. Literally.

I can’t tell you how many different things I have tried on our shower tiles. They would end up clean, sure, but they were always dull and matte-looking. It got to a point that I thought maybe it was the way they were made, that maybe they weren’t meant to be shiny. Then I tried the Shower, Tub, and Tile Cleaner. Following the directions, I sprayed it on, waited a few minutes, then wiped it down with a damp rag. I also turned the shower on for a few minutes to fully rinse it. I was shocked - SHOCKED! - to see how much they sparkled when I was done. I was such a nerd that I then told everyone I knew about it.

The toilet bowl cleaner was left for George. He managed to unhook the hose in the tank and hook it up and it really did a great job of cleaning the toilet. I can let a lot of things slide if I have to but I can’t stand a dirty toilet so I can really appreciate anything that keeps the bowl clean on a fairly consistent level. I did still have to occasionally run the brush around the bowl because of the aforementioned hard water, but it was just a quick swish, not a full scrub-a-thon.

I definitely recommend the spray cleaner for general all-purpose use and especially if you have been regularly thwarted like I have in a quest to make your tiles shine like a television commercial. Although the toilet system worked well, I’d only suggest it if you’re comfortable fiddling around in the tank behind your toilet; if I was single I would have been too nervous to try to hook it up lest I end up spraying water all over my bathroom. If you’re also uncomfortable with the thought of disconnecting and re-hooking parts of your toilet, I would look into some of their other products like the Bowl Blaster solution that apparently foams up inside the bowl and scrubs away anything you don’t want your guests to see.

And now that I’m done talking about it, I think I’ll go clean my bathroom some more!