Unblocking the writer's block
Apr 22, 2005
Happy Earth day! Go do something nice for our planet. Then keep doing it for the other 364 days of the year.
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You may have noticed that I haven't been updating here all that often lately. I've even had a bit of trouble posting to my weblog. It wasn't because I had grown bored of online stuff (well, sometimes) but rather because I had stuff that I couldn't write about. And there's nothing that annoys people more than "Hey, I *really* want to talk about something but I can't so you'll just have to wait." It was easier to just wait it out.
And now that everything is taken care of on this end, I can finally say something. About five weeks ago, I produced this.
Yes, yes, five weeks ago and I managed to keep my mouth shut. Though it did help that there were a few communities where I could tell some friends, which helped a lot. I just didn't want to write about it here because there were some family members who weren't aware yet. The only person in the two immediate families who read me is my sister and she knew, but sometimes other people would just drop by once in a blue moon and murphy's law would have made them drop by at that moment. We didn't want them finding out from a web page, you know?
Now though, it's all in the clear so I can finally write about it here. I was missing having this journal to track everything (in other words, using the journal to complain about feeling sick!). I had read some of my old pregnancy entries and it was nice having the reference. Since this is more than likely the last time I'll be doing this, I look forward to having a record to look back on for this pregnancy too.
A basic recap of the last five weeks would be simple to write so that you know what's been going on behind the scenes of my non-updating life: Nauseous, nauseous, nauseous.
I really shouldn't complain too much because I (knock on wood) haven't even thrown up this time (yet) but I just felt really nauseous to the point that I'm extremely surprised that I didn't. It started much earlier this time, at about the four week mark. I felt sick before I officially knew I was even pregnant. I knew there was a good chance on the first day of being late because I am practically NEVER late, and the rare time I was, I was late by less than half a day. By two days past, I knew and I was feeling pretty icky. I wasn't particularly shocked by the test results, let's put it that way.
From there "morning sickness" turned into "if I'm awake and upright I feel like barfing sickness". That went on for several weeks, and then as of last week I managed to finally slip into a relatively bearable cycle that goes like this: wake up, nauseous, hungry, eat, okay, okay, o...no, nauseous, hungry, eat, etc etc. It's not great but it's still better than feeling like crap all day long. I also found that if I can actually drag my tired and queasy self outside, the fresh air helps me feel quite a bit better. Last weekend I spent a great deal of Saturday outside in Dean and Joanne's backyard while Hayley played with their friend's dog, and then we went to a BBQ at our friends Perry and Sue's house on Sunday and spent many hours outside there; I even managed to eat two large plates of food while there.
Cravings are different this time too. Last time, all I wanted was sweet stuff - cookies, cake, pies and so on. It's a miracle I didn't gain 200 pounds. This time, I can eat those things if they're around but I don't crave them. My cravings are extremely random which makes it next to impossible to stock up on stuff that I may suddenly want at 10 o'clock at night. I've craved Chinese food, chicken pot pie (finally had that a couple of nights ago and DAMN it was good), chips, guacamole, guacamole Doritos, popcorn, and chicken nuggets from McDonalds. The weirdest part is that sometimes once I eat it I don't want it again, whereas last time I could eat the same cake for weeks on end. I can't even look at popcorn now because I ate it enthusiastically two or three times and then all of a sudden it made me feel sick and now I'm off it completely.
On the opposite end of the scale I've had a few aversions too. Like last time, I can't eat mashed potatoes or corn from a can (though I can probably eat corn on the cob when that comes in season). I can eat chicken as long as I don't have to handle it raw so George has been on chicken leg duty lately. The big thing was I went off meat for awhile which was pretty annoying. Now I can eat most meat though I still don't like browning beef because it makes me feel a little icky; on the other hand, I made a pork roast last week and that was okay because I just made little X marks with a knife and stuffed them with garlic and then covered it in Dijon before throwing it in the oven. The one thing I absolutely can't eat now is sausage. That REALLY sucks because Italian sausage goes on sale almost every other week and it's so easy to grill or just slice to put in spaghetti sauce or my sauage pasta, but I can't. At the BBQ last Sunday I had to stick to all the yummy salads and sides because even just looking at the BBQ sausages made me gag.
I went for my first appointment last Tuesday. It was really long because the first appointment requires blood tests and if you don't show up at the blood clinic at that hospital when they open at 7:30 am then you can be there forever. I saw my nurse first (I'll see my doctor at the next appointment on May 16th) and that was fun because we just sat and discussed pregnancy in general, how I was feeling, etc. She gave me some tips for controlling the sick feeling and also offered me a prescription to help it but I declined that since I think it would be more useful to me if I was actually vomiting. She also asked about Hayley's birth and what I was okay with and what I wasn't. I said that although being induced worked for me that time, I would prefer not to be this time and I also said I really truly DO NOT want an episiotomy this time. It took me as long to recover from that as I've read about the recovery time for women who have c-sections.
It took a little over an hour to get my blood drawn but really that wasn't as bad as I expected considering the huge amount of people. What was annoying was that I'm not visibly pregnant; I only show a little bit and I don't show much at all when I'm wearing clothes, so no one offered me a seat and there was nowhere to sit. I was really tired by the time they were done. On top of that I had to go do some banking after my appointment and I hit the bank right at lunch time so I had to stand around AGAIN for almost another hour just to do everything I needed to do there. I was really happy to get home!
So that's pretty much all the news lately. I'm mostly just counting down the days and waiting for the second trimester to hit so I can start feeling better and get some energy back. Last time it started to taper off at about 11 weeks, which makes sense since apparently the most drastic growth and development occurs between weeks five and ten.
We told Hayley yesterday too. We hadn't told her because she talks SO.MUCH that we knew she'd be babbling about it forever so we waited until everyone knew. George was worried about how she was going to react because he didn't want her to feel like she was being pushed aside for someone new or that she would feel betrayed. Instead, she was extremely excited. She talked about the baby constantly, asking lots of questions about where it was, if she could hold it and play with it, and also she told us all the stuff she was going to do, like share her toys and her room, help me change the baby, and give it some cake. It's going to be a long time from here until November 21st (the alleged due date) because all morning she's been asking if she can take the baby out now and if she can hold it now, and baby this baby that. Eep. She did kiss my tummy good night last night though, and she also kissed it this morning because she wanted "to give the baby a kiss".
She thinks it's a girl. That's good because everyone else seems to be saying it's going to be a boy. I'll be happy either way but I do have hopes that it will be another girl because we have so many girl clothes from newborn to age three and not so many boy or neutral clothes. It would just be easier. I had started using "he" in my head but that doesn't mean much since I was positive Hayley was a boy too until we had the ultrasound. Ever since Hayley the prophet said it's a girl, I've been using "she" instead. I guess we'll (maybe, if we're lucky) know in about ten more weeks, give or take.
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Some pictures from the BBQ last week.
Hayley let me do her hair in a new style. She looks so cute with it like this, and also a little grown up, eek.
Goofball that she is, after I took the first picture, she made me take another one with a photo of Canadian Idol Kalan Porter. I cut it out of the newspaper for her and she loves it.
After I got her all ready, she was so tired that she fell asleep on George.
Interesting contrast to this one, taken at the hospital when she was less than a whole day old.
George (and Perry and Sue's daughter) help Hayley get the hang of a tricycle. I want to get my old one for her because as far as I know it's still in really good shape and she could ride it around the park.
Us, sitting on the deck. Looking at this picture I am more convinced than ever that I really need a haircut. Badly. Oy.
The girls all playing with a bunch of toys.
Hayley had said that morning, "I can't wait to go see Gizmo the dog!" She really likes him.
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Reading: I just finished re-reading
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Now I can't WAIT to see the movie.
Watching: Not much on Friday.
Hearing: Hayley singing along to Treehouse.
Eating: Breakfast - waffles. Lunch - Leftover Aztec Beans. Supper - Um, I don't know yet. I could totally eat another chicken pot pie though.
Oh thank god. Now I can post something about it on my weblog (when I have a few minutes to dedicate to it)! Heh.
And man, I just love Hayley. As long as you play up the importance of being a Big Sister, I'm sure she'll be fine.
And won't it hurt more if you don't have the episiotomy if the opening isn't, er, big enough? You know, I can't think about this stuff without crossing my legs REALLY TIGHTLY. Yikes.
Posted by: Amanda on Apr 22, 05 | 1:33 pm
i did already say it, but congratulations again :)
hayley looks so grown up and so pretty in those pictures! her reactions to the baby sound quite similar to stephanie's too, declarations to share this and do that. stephanie tells me we're having a girl too, and she's certain about it. it always makes me wonder if their innocent little minds are in touch with some knowledge that we've forgotten how to touch as adults. time will tell, i guess!
Posted by: jade on Apr 22, 05 | 5:36 pm
