Why I can’t take part in the rapture

So according to a bunch of lunatics, er, I mean people who have used intense mathematical skills in conjunction with the Bible, the world is going to hit the start of the End Days on May 21st (conveniently at 6 pm for each time zone as opposed to just all at once at a surprise time). Those who are saved will enjoy The Rapture, floating up to Heaven…

… while the rest of us are forced to stay behind like badly behaved children. Yes, I am assuming that I will not be “raptured”. I looked at the flow chart. Far too many strikes against me.

(click for full size to see where you stand)

Anyway, that’s fine. I have little to fear as I have seen many zombie movies, disaster films, and post-apocalyptic movies so I’m sure I’ll fare reasonably well once everything gets going. And really, I don’t want to be raptured anyway. Here are some of the reasons why in no particular order:

  1. I still haven’t see the season finale of Criminal Minds. I need to know how they end this season.
  2. And speaking of zombies, what about The Walking Dead? I’m pretty obsessed with that show and need to know what’s going to happen next season.
  3. I’m in the middle of reading Divergent which is not quite as good as the whole The Hunger Games trilogy but it’s still highly entertaining and I’d hate to get pulled away from it when I’m only about halfway through it.
  4. The final Harry Potter movie doesn’t come out until July. If I can make to a theater with a good generator I’ll be able to see if they did the last book justice.
  5. I just did my French telephone interview for my Halifax job and I passed it; I have to stick around for the English telephone interview, no time for rapturing!
  6. And hello? Halifax! I mean, sure I could still go but if the roads are all shot to hell we’re going to have to try to get our hands on a tank to make it there and I’m not sure if those are compatible with Breanna’s booster seat.
  7. I have firm plans to do a bit of post-rapture looting. I’ve got my eye on a few nice camera lenses, a flat screen television, the Kinect system, and a new laptop that doesn’t blue-screen on me once a day.
  8. I’ve been progressing so nicely with my yoga, it would be a shame to stop now. I mean look at the crazy stuff I can do! (And ignore my voice and the Canadian accent that goes with it)
  9. I have a lot of crap to take care of on my to-do list on Saturday and frankly I’m just not going to feel like going all the way up to the sky by 6 pm.
  10. I’d hate to think all the mountains of laundry I’ve done in the past week or so have been a waste.

So clearly I just can’t be raptured on Saturday even if I was eligible. I’m a very busy person you know.

Are you going or staying?

A quiet Mother’s Day works for me

I had a nice quiet Mother’s Day so far today and honestly that’s exactly what I needed and wanted. It started off a little more exciting than I really needed though; just before 6 am I was woken up by a puking Breanna and that’s just never a good thing. It happened twice in the space of an hour and if you happened to hear a strange shattering sort of sound followed by tinkling that would have been my heart breaking when she tearfully asked me, “did I ruin Mother’s Day?”

After reassuring her that being sick most certainly did not ruin anything, I got her cleaned up and back to sleep for a little longer until she finally got up a little past 8 am. At that point she sat in the living room with Hayley and George and I snoozed a bit longer until George woke me up to tell me he was off to the store to get some bacon for brunch. Upon his return he brought me some coffee in bed and I laid back and read a bit (reading this book which is every bit as amazing as everyone has said) until I was called to the living room for brunch. Cooked by George and served by the kids.

Good morning

The kids also gave me their homemade cards and Hayley had made a couple of things in school; the nice thing about having classes in English and in French is you get double the stuff! They also both have a tradition of presenting us with something we already own and love (I don’t know if this is of their own brainstorming or if they got the idea from the Caillou Christmas DVD but either way it makes me smile every holiday) so Breanna had wrapped up one of my books and Hayley had wrapped up a photo of her as a week-old baby. I don’t know, I know that commercialism has attacked Mother’s Day much like it has done with other holidays and there’s some belief that you need to be showered with jewelry and whatnot but as nice as those things are, it’s the homemade presents that stand out to me.


I had thought of maybe going to the park for an hour or two but with Breanna not feeling well I decided to pass on that. We did end up making it over to see George’s parents for a brief visit though we didn’t stay too long since they were going out for supper and we still weren’t sure whether Breanna was sick from a virus or just something that she ate.

When we got back, George made supper for us. Poor Breanna’s appetite was pretty low so she had a bowl of soup and we ate some delicious pasta. Afterwards we settled on the couch to watch some TV together but in the end Breanna wanted to go to bed earlier than usual. After a quick bedtime story she was passed out in under five minutes, a bucket on the floor beside her just in case. Unfortunately Hayley was starting to feel a bit off herself so I’m thinking the odds of this being food-related are pretty slim and it’s starting to look like a virus.

We were supposed to go see my parents tomorrow; we usually go on the Saturday but George had to work. At this rate though I’m not sure we’ll be able to. If everyone’s sick they’re not going to handle being in a car very well. We’ll see in the morning.

Strange sickness aside, it was a good Mother’s Day anyway. I had no humongous plans in store so nothing had to be put on the back burner (not that I would have minded anyway) and all I wanted to do was take it easy today which is exactly what I got to do for a large part of the day. Pretty good if you ask me.

Happy Mother's Day

In fact I still want to take it easy and there’s a cup of chamomile tea, a couple of chocolate chip cookies, and a book waiting for me. Happy Mother’s Day to anyone who is a mother, was a mother, wants to be a mother, has a mother, or had a mother. I hope your day was special in some way too.